Dangerous Meditations

Ancient tradition prescribes that courtship, otherwise known as the first date, should be instigated by the male. Fortunately for Chakotay, he wasn't much for tradition or he might have ended up very disappointed. After his talk with B'Elanna, he made his obligatory visit to Sickbay, chatted with the doctor, suffered some further ribbing about hand holding among the senior staff, then retreated to his quarters, exhausted. He was able to stay awake only long enough to file a sketchy report on the vision quest before once again falling into bed. Naomi's beliefs in her stuffed Purdy must have been well founded, for he slept through the rest of that day, and completely missed his opportunity to approach Kathryn with the suggestion of any kind of get-together, formal or otherwise.

The following morning, the captain met him on the Bridge for his first day back on restricted duty. She was sitting in her chair, her legs crossed, a data padd in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. Her eyes followed his progress as he crossed the command level to his chair, and she greeted him with a nod. Welcome back, Commander.

The use of his title would have acted as a deterrent if it hadn't been for her accompanying smile, bringing to mind their conversation from the day before. He replied, Thank you, Captain. It's good to be back, and returned her smile with a broad one of his own. He slid smoothly into his chair, grinning now at the familiar way the cushions conformed to his shape, at the comfortable feeling that was somehow associated with sitting on this Bridge, on this ship, next to her. Yes, it was definitely good to be back.

Chakotay turned to the computer console separating his chair from the captain's, intending to log himself into the duty roster for a partial shift. The presence of a steaming cup of tea resting on his side of the console distracted him. He glanced questioningly across the raised monitor at her.

The captain gave a shrug of her shoulder and explained, I thought you might like some tea... as a sort of welcome back... to get you started... and back into the swing of things, she hurried to finish, her explanation ending on a note of sudden, embarrassed uncertainty.

She sounded worried, as if an offering of tea was too much, too personal for the Bridge. Though he often drank tea or juice while on duty during quiet times, she had never had a cup waiting for him. He was surprised and touched by her thoughtfulness.

He reached for the cup. Thank you, he said appreciatively. How did you know I missed breakfast this morning? He took a cautious sip of the hot liquid, Neelix's special blend of Bolian mint. It was his favorite.

Looking relieved now that the first step was over and she was certain he wasn't going to laugh at her, Kathryn turned her gaze to the data padd in her hands in an unsuccessful attempt to hide that relief. She didn't fool Chakotay for a second, but he let her escape without comment. He was too busy enjoying his tea, anyway. I had an idea that you might have slept in just a bit when you weren't in the mess hall for breakfast, she said to the data padd.

He grunted, concentrating on his computer task while watching her carefully from the corner of his eye and balancing the hot china cup in his hand. I did sleep in. The alarm almost didn't wake me in time.

She glanced at him then. As loud as your alarm is set? I'm surprised it doesn't wake the dead, she joked. She didn't give him a chance to respond to her comment, but went on, asking, How are you feeling today?

First tea, then personal opinions about the wake-up call in his bedroom... Chakotay almost couldn't recover enough to make an intelligent reply. I feel great, he said without considering the truth of the statement. But he continued, I guess between successful vision quests, sleep, and the power of Naomi's stuffed toys, I can't help but feel better.

Kathryn laughed. That's good to hear. Leave it to Naomi Wildman to save the day. She turned again to the data padd, checked something on the computer console, took a drink from her mug of coffee, took another drink. Suddenly, in an offhand fashion, she commented, I noticed that the book club you've been talking about is having a reading of some kind tonight. Are you up to going?

The book club. Was she asking him on a date to a club reading? With the events of the last week, he'd forgotten all about the club. He'd certainly been unable to attend the last meeting, and was probably going to skip the next since he hadn't exactly had time to read Ensign Baetart's weekly selection. But listening to a reading didn't take any preparation. And with further thought, he realized it was exactly how he wanted to spend the evening. Like breakfast the day before, it didn't matter what they did. Anything would make him happy at this point.

He pretended to consider the suggestion, and said, The doctor has me on restricted duties, but he didn't say anything about restricted social activities.

She eyed him at his use of the word 'social.' That was surely an oversight on the doctor's part, she noted dryly.

Chakotay grinned, subdued but not chastised. The reading sounds like fun. I'd love to go.

Good, was all she said, but the dryness had left her tone, and another smile tugged at the corners of her lips. Captain Janeway suddenly looked extremely satisfied. It starts at nineteen thirty. I'll meet you about... ten minutes before?

Chakotay nodded. Sounds good. He was trying to keep his own enthusiasm in check, and was on the verge of complete failure.

The captain chose that propitious moment to retreat. Excellent, she said as she hastily gathered her data padd and coffee together. She didn't risk another look at him. Instead, she appeared ready to run at a moment's notice. I'll be in my ready room, wrestling with that damn new drive theory with B'Elanna. You have the Bridge.

Aye, Captain, he replied, the phrase rolling from his mouth almost out of habit. It suddenly struck him as odd to call her captain again after seeing her so completely as Kathryn in his vision quest. He'd never thought to make that distinction before, but now it was almost as if he had knowledge of some secret to her identity. She was no longer simply the captain to him, and no matter what transpired in the future, never would be again.

With this in mind, he indulged in the luxury of watching her leave. Against his will, his gaze was drawn to her hair; under the artificial lights of Voyager, it almost looked as if she was standing in the glinting illumination of full sunlight. He was struck by the sudden similarity to her appearance in his vision quest, and his stomach suddenly flipped over in a discomfiting display of fear and exhilaration. Such a sensation linked to the captain seemed as extraordinary as his earlier distinction between her self and her position. However, he didn't take his eyes off her departing form and its sunlit illusion until she disappeared behind the ready room door.

Coming out of his dreamy state, his attention reluctantly returned to the Bridge, but he sighed deeply, content. The first date, he reflected. Just as he took a last drink of tea before starting his day, it occurred to him that he should probably be nervous. After all, he hadn't had a date in years. As far as he knew, neither had Kathryn.

Distracted again, he forgot about the temperature of the tea, and thoroughly burned his tongue. He quickly gulped down the liquid. But he grinned as he did it.

They talked about work the entire time.

Of course, what they talked about or what they did was immaterial to Chakotay. He would have been content enough had their basic relationship gone unchanged; spending more time together, time that was clearly of a social nature, was an added bonus to what he had learned in his vision quest. Just accepting his feelings and the need to express them rather than bury them removed a heavy burden from his soul. He had not anticipated that Kathryn might be moved to change by the vision quest as well. He certainly hadn't expected her to instigate anything as revolutionary as a first date. It went against every command protocol he knew.

But protocol didn't stop them from having a good time, and neither did talking about the ship.

Now let me get this straight, Kathryn said, one finger raised into the air to keep him from interrupting while she balanced a small plate of dessert in her other hand. She looked up at him with narrowed eyes, a pensive wrinkle to her forehead. You want to create a hand crafted data device that will record our journey through the Delta Quadrant in conjunction with a series of log entries from various crewmembers for.... What was this for?

She stood next to Chakotay at the end of the refreshment table in the mess hall, heedless of the crowd of milling crewmembers that jostled them near the table. The book club's reading over, the reception was in full swing, but they might as well have been alone for all that they noticed anybody else.

Chakotay reached around her to grab a small slice of candied fruit before Tom Paris beat him to it, though he failed to acknowledge Tom's irritated look with any form of apology. He was too busy formulating a reply to Kathryn's question to pay any attention to a disgruntled Tom Paris. I want to make a journal of our time here. A diary of sorts, from everybody's perspective, with a map to supplement the personal entries. That way anybody can follow Voyager's course as well as read first hand accounts of our experiences along that course.

It sounds like a holo-map, she said, then gestured for them to move away from the table to a less crowded area of the room. Or else the doctor has brainwashed you into assisting him with more of his holo-lecture series.

Chakotay chuckled. No, it's nothing like that. I wouldn't want to step on the doctor's toes.

She snorted back a laugh at that comment.

He continued, But I think it's important to keep one central record of our journey, an account that's both general and personal.

A scrapbook, she said thoughtfully, and rubbed her chin.

Yes, I suppose so.

They encountered two empty seats, and both gratefully sank into them, glad to be free of the press of too many people. The reading had been more popular than expected, or at least the reception was, and the crowd had grown beyond the mess hall's capacity. They had been lucky to get food, to say nothing of the seats.

What made you think to try this? Kathryn asked next. Does this have something to do with the vision quest?

He grinned. They hadn't had any more opportunities to discuss the vision quest since breakfast the day before. He had the impression that her curiosity was beginning to get the better of her. No, he said, regretful that he couldn't fulfill at least some of her interest. I guess I first thought of it last year.

She choked in surprise. Last year? Then why didn't you bring this up sooner?

Chakotay thoughtfully shrugged. I felt that I didn't have enough time to devote to doing it right... No. Truthfully, I thought that it was a waste of time, he admitted.

And now you don't?

Even more thoughtful, he regarded her while most of his attention was centered on an internal study. The motivation for

his changed attitude towards this project was hard to pinpoint, and even harder to explain. It had to do with the vision quest, but it wasn't that simple, either. My priorities have changed recently, was all he said.

She eyed him doubtfully. So you've decided that being Voyager's first officer and unofficial counselor aren't enough for you - you want to be ship's historian as well.

He laughed and playfully said, It's really just a ploy so that I can read everybody's personal logs.

A voyeur, she announced in feigned conclusion. I always suspected that of you, Commander. Now I know. Maybe I should be the one reading your personal logs.

His eyes glinted mischievously. Be my guest. But I should warn you - you might need a stimulant. My logs have been less than detailed in the last years. They certainly don't make for very interesting reading.

Kathryn's expression hinted that she wanted to ask what he meant by that. Chakotay had never been one to shirk on details, not in his professional performance. But personal logs were zealously guarded as very private material. In an environment like Voyager's, where living and working was done in the same confined space and privacy was at a premium, sometimes the personal log was the sole place to unload in relative safety. Only the captain had the authority to order any crewmember to turn over their logs, and then only in dire circumstances.

Still, he could tell that she was having a hard time holding her tongue. Old habits forced her to adhere to policy, however, and she noticeably restrained herself from asking him to elaborate. Instead, she said, So you want my authorization to ask various members of the crew to volunteer their log entries for this... scrapbook.

He nodded. I'll need to use the astrometrics lab as well, and I suspect that Seven of Nine could be valuable in sifting through the data to make a reasonably sized star chart. She also might find the logs... He paused, searching for the right word. ... educational.

Kathryn regarded the empty plate in her hand. How much energy will it take to store this once it's finished?

Chakotay looked apologetic as he said, Quite a bit, I think, and if it's done correctly, it won't be finished until we --

Get back home, she interrupted with a sigh. Then she gave him a small smile. Back to the Alpha Quadrant, where we'll hopefully be lauded as the heros and grand adventurers that we all know we are. In that light, a completed visual star chart with personal accounts of those grand adventures sounds like a good idea. She leaned forward and eyed him devilishly. Won't the brass be impressed, she quietly noted.

Encouraged by her mischievous nature, Chakotay leaned forward as well until their were only inches apart. That's the idea, he admitted, and planned to follow that statement with a comment that his only desire in life was to make Captain Janeway look good, when the red alert siren forcibly interrupted everything.

The ship suddenly rocked under an unexpected hail of laser fire. Chakotay grabbed Kathryn's arm to keep both of them from falling out of their chairs and tumbling to the floor. But they were so close that they unceremoniously bumped heads before they could regain any amount of balance or decorum. Fortunately the rest of the crew were too busy fighting to stay on their feet to notice.

*Captain to the Bridge,* Tuvok's voice issued from the comm system in the mess hall as Chakotay rubbed uselessly at the sore spot on his forehead. *We are under attack. All hands to your posts,* was the next order.

Tuvok's calmness was at eerie odds to the second assault of laser fire that seared across Voyager's shields. The ship bucked again, but quickly righted itself as the internal dampers were reinitialized.

Controlled action erupted across the crowded mess hall. Personnel discarded glasses, napkins, plates, and uneaten food onto the nearest convenient surface, frequently the floor. Chakotay and Kathryn both jumped to their feet, only to instantly lose their balance again in the confined space between their chairs. They simultaneously reached to steady each other as the attack continued. Kathryn lurched, and Chakotay caught her, one hand placed firmly on her hip to keep her from falling. She grabbed his free hand for further support.

Well, this ends the conversation, Kathryn quipped. Her hand still grasped firmly in Chakotay's, she led him through the parted crowd and the mess hall doors. Once in the corridor, they broke into a fast trot, dodging to avoid equally harried crewmembers that jammed the corridors on the way to the Bridge.

Not only was it the end of the conversation, it was the end of the date.

Raiders.

Captain Janeway looked up from an intense perusal of updated repair reports to glare uselessly at her first officer. The noise on the Bridge was at such a level that she had trouble hearing him. Raiders? she questioned in disbelief.

Chakotay nodded unhappily. I checked with Neelix. During our last stop at Antillery Prime, he managed to convince the ambassador to share their records of ship configurations. Since then, he's compiled a fairly complete database of known ships for several light-years in every direction. He leaned around the top of the computer monitor next to her station, and, upside down, succeeded in calling up the program he was talking about. A picture of their most recent adversary appeared on the screen. Chakotay indicated the pictured ship with a wave of his hand. They seem to belong to some kind of unorganized resistance group --

Commander. Chakotay was interrupted by Ensign Parsons, who stood on the upper level of the Bridge, peering down at the commanding officers from behind the safety rail. Relief crew is here, she reported, sounding tired and haggard after hours spent repairing the considerable damage maintained during the brief though fierce battle with the raiders. I request that we allow beta shift to stand down. They're exhausted. They won't be much good until they get some sleep.

Chakotay nodded his consent. All right. Report your progress to Lieutenant Henderson, then move your team out. You've accomplished a lot in a short time; good work. I don't want to see your sorry face for at least eight hours.

Parsons grinned. Thank you, Commander. She turned away to bark out tired commands. Her voice was lost in the typical post battle mayhem of the Bridge.

Chakotay returned his attention to the captain.

Speaking of sorry faces, she said, and scrutinized him with equally weary eyes. You look at least as tired as beta shift, not to mention the ensign.

She was right; he was tired. He needed to sit down. Chakotay fell into his command chair, and it felt as if his bones creaked from weariness. He didn't understand how he could sleep so much of the day, but still feel drained after only a few hours of activity. He certainly couldn't argue with her assessment, even if he had the energy to do so, which he didn't. I won't make it much longer, he agreed.

Finish telling me about these raiders, then I want you off duty. He opened his mouth to protest, but she was adamant. Chakotay, it's your first day back. There's no point in exhausting yourself.

She had misunderstood his intended objection. There's no point in exhausting yourself, either. If you stay, I stay. It was a noble gesture for him to make, but even as he made it, he wasn't at all certain he could uphold such a promise. He might fall asleep in his command chair. That would be embarrassing, he ruminated.

Her eyes narrowed, and he could tell she was angry. But except for a huff of breath, she showed no signs of it. She nodded at the screen. Report.

According to Neelix and the Antillarian ambassador, these raiders are interested only in easy prey, ships they can take over quickly and with little fuss.

If they go to the trouble to steal a ship, they want it in working condition, she guessed.

He nodded. Neelix believes that these raiders won't give us any more trouble, especially since we disabled eleven of their ships in our first encounter. On the other hand, we will be traveling through their territory for the next several days.

Janeway rubbed at her forehead, then passed her fingers across her cheeks. Her hands fell to rest in her lap as she considered Voyager's options. How long to go around their territory?

Several weeks... too long, he answered bluntly. Even if we're forced into more skirmishes, the damage we might sustain is marginal compared to the supply situation we could develop.

She nodded. Very well. We maintain course. I'll order Tactical to go to constant alert, and we'll run continuous scans. That should give us some warning in case we come across any more of these raider ships.

Better make it short range scans as well as long range; it's rumored that this group is also becoming expert at cloaking technology.

Swell, the captain sarcastically retorted, giving in to her fatigue long enough to show a little temper. She gathered herself together and sighed. I think I'll take a look at this database and talk to Neelix myself. Let's just hope that he and the Antillarian ambassador are right about these raiders. We'll remain at yellow alert until we've crossed their territory. With any luck, we've seen the last of these ships. She cleared the monitor screen, wiping away any trace of their adversary as if she could wipe them out of existence as well. More lists of repairs took the place of Neelix's program.

Once the decision was made and the screen cleared, her eyes swiveled to stare at Chakotay, though her head remained motionless. Now, she said, a polite though irresolute edge to her voice. Let me walk you to your quarters.

Her tone garnered a slight grin from him. The expression lifted some of the weariness from his features. Let me walk you to yours, he suggested in a tone that matched hers.

No need to worry about me; I'll catch some sleep in my ready room.

I'll sleep in my office.

I'll call the doctor and have you relieved of duty, she threatened lightly.

I'll mutiny, he threatened back.

What if I have you sedated? she asked next, a grin starting to lift the corners of her lips.

Chakotay raised his eyebrows and yielded. That might finish me off, he admitted. But he gave one last retort, Though you'll have to catch me first.

Kathryn's burst of tired laughter peeled across the Bridge. Only those crewmembers closest to the command chairs even heard, and a few heads turned in their direction. Laughter was an unusual sound in the aftermath of battle. It was even more unusual coming from the captain.

Chakotay, you drive a hard bargain. The captain stood and held out a hand to help him up. But let me inform you: you're going to lose this one, so you might as well go gracefully. She gestured towards the turbolift with a tilt of her head. Come on, she encouraged softly. I'll walk you home.

It was a good thing she had offered her hand - he needed help to get up. His knees hurt, his back hurt, his shoulders were stiff. While he had duties to perform, he could ignore all these aches and pains, but the minute his mind was freed to dwell on his body, he felt every minor inconvenience like it was a major injury. I think I got thrown around a little too much during this last Delta Quadrant maneuver. He grimaced.

She waved his comment aside. Oh, come now, she joked. We were only thrown out of our chairs... what?... three times? That's nothing. In a real battle, you would be sitting in Mr. Paris's lap.

Chakotay grunted. That wasn't a real battle? Maybe you should tell that to the raiders. Or the repair crews. They threaded their way through several crewmembers discussing the merits of fixing a series of damaged components versus replacing them, and he pointed them out to her just as they reached the turbolift.

The lift doors shut out the sight of the haggling crewmembers, and the noise, and the hectic activity of the Bridge. Chakotay sighed into the sudden silence. He sagged against the back wall, too tired to stand up straight any longer. He closed his eyes, but he could feel Kathryn watching him. He cast a sideways glance at her, and met her gaze. How long until repairs are complete?

His question interrupted her thoughts, and she took a moment to consider. A few hours, four at the most. It wouldn't be a problem except we're low on replacement parts, and the replicators can't keep up with the demand.

He nodded his comprehension, but a stifled yawn precluded any comments on his part. Angrily he tried to force himself to stay awake. He couldn't afford to be so tired. If Kathryn was going to get any rest at all that night, he needed to be alert enough to replace her on the Bridge before the shift change. He could allow himself only a few hours of sleep. But even while he had that thought, he wondered if he could hold to it. He was incredibly tired.

What was your favorite part? she asked suddenly, her voice diffusing his thoughts and the heavy quiet of the turbolift.

His favorite part? Of the raider attack? That was an odd question to ask, Chakotay thought, especially considering the damage Voyager had sustained. Still, it had been an exciting skirmish; short, explosive, challenging to every member of the crew. I don't know, he said, and rubbed at the bump on his forehead as he deliberated the series of events that had led to the eventual defeat of the raiders. Tom's piloting skills improve every day. I've never seen anybody do what he did with a ship this size. And Harry works so fast now that I almost can't keep up with him anymore. Suddenly he grinned, forgetting his exhaustion for a moment. But I think the best part was the expression on that raider captain's face when he called your bluff and you gave the order to deploy the antimatter torpedo. He was stunned! Chakotay gave an appreciative chuckle. And the look on your face was perfect. I would have been scared as hell if I had been him.

Kathryn was doing her best to control a grin that was fighting to spread across her face. I admit that was particularly... satisfying, she decided. But it never would have worked if you hadn't been one step ahead of me the entire way. I suppose deploying an antimatter shock wave is an old Maquis trick?

Chakotay grinned with the memory. I think B'Elanna thoroughly enjoyed using it again. There's nothing like taking out eleven ships at the same time, especially when they're in the process of beating you into submission. As you say, it was very satisfying.

The lift halted and they stepped into the deserted corridor.

I have to wonder how many of those Maquis tricks you have left, though, Kathryn went on. Your supply has to be getting low by now.

He shook his head. Maquis ingenuity is infinite.

She looked at him with an expression of amused doubt. How convenient for us, she said dryly, then added in sarcastic afterthought, How sad for the raiders. Her tone returned to normal as they continued at a slow walk down the corridor. But that's not what I meant by your favorite part. I was talking about the reading.

Oh! Chakotay's surprise dissolved into an embarrassed chuckle. I'm sorry! I can't think straight any more.

She laughed lightly with him and placed a forgiving hand on his arm. That's all right. It's been a busy evening.

That's an understatement, he said with a short laugh of his own.

They were nearing his quarters now, but he found that he wasn't ready to leave her just yet, in spite of his need to rest. He stopped outside his door and turned to her. What was your favorite part? he asked.

Kathryn thoughtfully crossed her arms on her chest. I'm not sure, she said. I liked the sample chapter from the book that Ensign Baetart is writing. She has an unusual way with words. It gave me the feeling that she's just barely scratching the surface of something that I might find very intriguing.

Chakotay said, She's been working on that book for a long time. I hope she finishes it soon; I'm holding out to read it until it's done, but she's certainly caught my attention.

Kathryn nodded. But I think my favorite part was the poem.

He frowned. The one translated from ancient Bajoran?

Yes. Funny, isn't it? I've never been to Bajor, never been interested in its culture, and now I can't get this poem out of my head.

It was a fairly dramatic presentation, he pointed out, then asked, Was she crying by the end of it?

Kathryn's brows went up in a show of uncertainty. She might have been. It was hard to tell from the back of the room. But I can't blame her if she did; it was such a sad story, she explained. It's too bad that fellow...?

Eris, he filled in for her.

Eris, she repeated. It's too bad he had to die, though the story wouldn't have been nearly as good if he hadn't.

Chakotay managed to force a tired grin at her. So, you're a sucker for a good death scene.

She eyed him in mock irritation. I'm a sucker for a good story, she corrected.

He wasn't convinced. I don't know. I liked Baetart's chapter better. It sent chills up my spine. He gave a shudder just remembering it.

Kathryn misinterpreted his reaction. You're cold... and tired. She dropped her arms to her side with an angry sigh and a grieved expression at her assumed insensitivity. She issued a quick apology. I'm sorry, Chakotay. I didn't mean to keep you talking out in the corridor like this when you need rest more than mindless conversation.

He stopped her protests with a hand on her shoulder. Later he would recall the feel of her uniform under his hand, the roundness and slope of her shoulder. But at the time he was too surprised by his own boldness, too aware of the awkwardness of ending an evening together to notice much detail. Touching her was still such an unusual thing for him to do that she halted in mid breath, her eyes fixed on his. Mindless conversation has its place, too, he said, quietly insistent. I had a good time at the reading. Thanks for asking me.

A slow smile lifted her lips and lightened the fatigue that they had both purposefully ignored during their talk. Her hand came up to cradle his elbow in her palm. You're welcome. She gave his arm a squeeze. Good night, Chakotay. Sleep well.

You too, he responded.

I will. After a last smile, Kathryn's hand dropped and she turned away. Slowly, still thoughtful, she made her way towards the nearest turbolift.

Chakotay stood in the corridor outside his quarters and watched her departing form until a bend in the corridor swallowed her up. Only then did he key in his door code and enter his dark, empty quarters.

The first thing he did was send a message to Lieutenant Commander Tuvok with instructions to take over the Bridge from the captain if she was still in control at oh-five-hundred. He knew Kathryn too well to trust that she would get some rest, even with her recent verbal promise. She hadn't turned control of the Bridge over to anybody before they left, and she would never have made that oversight unless she intended to return shortly. If her schedule was left to her, she would stay awake for days if it took that long to finish repairing the ship.

However, it wasn't always left up to her. With a pleasant sense of satisfaction, Chakotay closed the channel with Tuvok, certain now that the captain would get at least some rest that night. Then he gladly headed for bed. He was so tired that he could no longer focus his eyes. But as he tumbled onto the bed, his conversation with Tuvok remained in his thoughts, and he mused that being Janeway's first officer did have its perks.

One of the downfalls of being Janeway's first officer was that he didn't always share the same duty shift with her, especially after an altercation of some kind. When that happened, days could go by with very little contact between them beyond comm messages and progress reports. When he arrived on duty at the beginning of alpha shift at oh-eight-hundred, he relieved Mr. Tuvok, who had relieved the captain at precisely oh-five-hundred. Though repairs were still unfinished, she had been too exhausted to protest. Coffee could regenerate a body only so long.

Chakotay spent his first full shift back on duty overseeing the few minor repairs left to make, reworking the duty schedule to accommodate the swing shifts necessary after an attack, and supplying a questioning crew with answers as to the purpose of that attack. His only contact with the captain was limited to one short conversation over the comm channel, and placing a data padd containing the Bajoran poem that she had liked so much on her ready room desk.

When he did see her again, in what they termed a working dinner and the crew called the second date, they talked about medicine bundles. She touched him more often in that short dinner than she had in the last months combined, and he suddenly found himself aware of the fact that she had more curves than just her shoulders hidden beneath the bulk of her Starfleet uniform. Such sudden awareness was juvenile and ridiculous, he knew, but he enjoyed her continued transformation from captain to Kathryn as much as she enjoyed the stray touch.

The next time he saw her, she tried to put a stop to everything.

Commander, I do not see the relevance of this project, Seven of Nine complained even while she made a minute adjustment to the astrometric controls. The map currently displayed on the lab's large view screen rotated a degree to accommodate a fraction more of Voyager's charted course through the Delta Quadrant. When the adjustment obscured as much of that course as it cleared, she sighed and her fingers punched in another attempt.

Chakotay carefully watched what Seven was doing, and correlated his list of available personal logs and their stardates to coincide with a part of the course Seven had displayed. It may not look like much right now, he said, but just wait until we get to your first log entry. His eyes flicked back and forth between the view screen and his computer console, constantly checking and rechecking the data.

Seven was not convinced. I fail to see the relevance of that, as well.

He spared a glance at her. Why? Aren't you excited to have your logs included in the journal?

Seven groaned another sigh. No, I am not.

A hint of amusement at her reluctance crossed his face. Just think about it, Seven. Years from now, perhaps when we're all long gone, somebody will be viewing this journal and they'll come to your log entry, and they'll wonder: Who was that amazing woman named Seven of Nine.

Seven's brows rose, and another sigh, this one of resigned irritation, issued into the otherwise quiet astrometrics lab. But instead of more complaints, she only said, I doubt that anyone will ever consider me amazing, but I thank you for the attempted compliment nevertheless.

Chakotay couldn't hide the amusement that erupted across his face at her comment. He gave a short laugh of surprise. It wasn't an attempt, Seven. I meant it. And I think you underestimate yourself.

She paused to glance at him again. No one had ever accused Seven of holding herself in anything but the highest regard. How so?

He stopped fiddling with his console to give her his full attention. If I had said that someday someone might look at your log entries and wonder about that efficient woman named Seven of Nine, how would you have reacted?

Seven needed no time to consider her opinion. I would have agreed with their assessment.

If you can think of yourself as efficient, why can't you think of yourself as amazing?

Those two words are not synonymous, she argued.

Chakotay's eyes glinted with humor at her argument, but there was a hint of truth there as well when he said, That's your opinion. He turned back to his work.

Seven watched him for a full minute, perplexed. I admit that I do not... understand... such a statement. She took a deep breath, as if she was steeling herself against some unpleasant future experience. But I will think about it. Then she too returned to the task at hand.

Chakotay smiled at his small victory. That's all I ask.

Any further conversation was halted by the arrival of Captain Janeway.

Chakotay felt a pleasant infusion of warmth wash through him at her sudden appearance. Lately it had become an expected, almost anticipated reaction to her every time she entered a room. Even though he found it slightly embarrassing to be affected by her in such a way, he enjoyed the sensation. Since his vision quest, he felt more alive than he ever had before, and if he had to suffer a blush every now and then, he found that an acceptable tradeoff. A smile burst across his face as she joined them at the console.

How's it coming? she asked briskly, her eyes taking in the star chart on the screen, and she missed Chakotay's expression.

It's coming along well, he answered enthusiastically, his gaze also taking in the screen. Seven has enough of the chart formalized that I've been able to start organizing the personal logs. Although this is just the beginning, I think we have a good start.

The captain nodded, the gesture as brisk and noncommittal as her opening question had been.

Chakotay looked at her, and his smile slowly dissolved into a frown. He sensed an aura of unhappiness about the captain, a sensation deep enough to cause lines of tension around her eyes, though he hadn't heard of any recent occurrences that might produce such emotions. The raiders had not returned, repairs were complete, there had been no casualties, all injured crewmembers had recovered in good time, and they were scheduled to arrive at a class 'M' planet by sixteen hundred for an unanticipated supply run. He was bewildered by her actions, but this was not the time or the place to ask about it. If she wanted to tell him what was on her mind, she would when she was ready. He maintained his silence, but he watched her carefully.

Without glancing at Chakotay, the captain turned to Seven. She gestured at the star chart. What do you think of all this, Seven?

Seven of Nine hesitated, sensing the tension as well. It confused her as much as it confused Chakotay. But according to her customary procedure, what she could not comprehend, she ignored. I find this project intriguing, if not exactly relevant, she said in answer to the captain's question, then added, Commander Chakotay is helping me to see how... amazing we all are.

That at least caught Janeway's attention. Really? she asked, sounding interested in spite of herself. She glanced over her shoulder at him. Her expression softened with a hint of a smile. Yes, Commander Chakotay excels at that, she murmured in a low voice, thoughtful, almost to herself.

When she faced Seven once again, the tension had receded somewhat, and the lines loosened around her eyes. I'm glad to hear that it's going so well. But I need to talk to the commander, she said. If this is a good stopping place, I'm going to interrupt. Then she smiled a half smile. And if it's not a good stopping place, I'm going to interrupt anyway.

Seven's brow rose, a perfect sign that she was listening to a joke because she thought it was the polite thing to do rather than for any humorous value she could detect. Captain's prerogative, she named Janeway's scheme.

Janeway didn't deny it.

Then it is fortunate that we are at a good stopping point. Seven tapped a few more brief commands into the computer, then saved her progress. Please let me know if you require further assistance, she said to Chakotay, who nodded. Then she dismissed herself, saving them the trouble. The door swished behind her, shutting out the noise of the rest of the ship and closing in the silence of the lab.

The abruptness of Kathryn's arrival and Seven's subsequent departure happened quickly enough to surprise Chakotay. To his continued surprise, the captain ordered the computer to seal the door behind her.

I don't want to be interrupted, she explained.

With an effort, Chakotay gathered himself together and tried to keep up with each quick change. He could understand her reasoning for locking the door. Every time they sat down together for a conversation, they were inundated with intrusions. He was never altogether certain if it was fate, or if the crew were secretly up to something. But whatever the case, it was unlike the captain to bar either of them from the rest of the ship. He concluded that this must be serious.

The silence had once more settled over the lab while he was lost in thought, and she made no move to break it. Finally he returned to his console long enough to finish what he'd been working on. Then he too saved the data and paused the computer.

When she still hadn't said anything, but only stood and stared at the glowing phosphorescent colors of the star chart, he gently prompted, Kathryn, what's wrong?

His inquiry broke through the haze of thought that shrouded her. She caught her breath and looked away from the view screen, focusing on him for the first time since she'd entered the lab. Her right hand was curled into a fist, and her chin rested lightly against her fingers. She sent him an apologetic look. I'm sorry. I don't mean to seem so mysterious. Nothing's wrong, I assure you.

Garbage, he thought, not believing a word she said. Chakotay took a seat on the steps leading up to the lab's screen level, but his eyes never left her. You can assure all you want, but that doesn't explain the look of gloom and doom on your face.

Her features broke into a grin. The new expression quelled more of the tension, and the last of the lines disappeared from around her eyes and mouth. She moved to sit next to him, and rested a friendly hand on his knee. She jested, All those years ago, who knew that I would be lucky enough to get a first officer who can make me laugh.

He grinned back, pleased with the compliment.

But I do need to talk to you, she said, serious again though the nervous tension was gone.

What about?

Well, she said, and indecisiveness crept into her voice. I don't quite know where to begin.

The beginning, perhaps? he hazarded to suggest.

She glanced at him, and the look on her face indicated that she knew he was being flippant. But she didn't give in to his inviting lightheartedness. There are so many beginnings that I can't seem to choose which one is the real one.

Chakotay didn't know what to say to help her. He guessed, Does this have something to do with the vision quest? We haven't really taken the time to talk about it yet.

She considered that with a shrug. Yes, and no. The vision quest was one of the beginnings. She paused to think some more. Last night was another, she finally decided.

Chakotay was at a loss. They hadn't even seen each other the night before. What --

I dreamed about you last night. Kathryn overrode his sudden confusion without acknowledging it. She went on to explain the dream, We had encountered a group of aliens, who seemed friendly enough at first, but suddenly they kidnapped you. I'm not sure I ever found out why; it was a very strange dream.

When she paused, Chakotay nodded to let her know that he was listening, but he refrained from voicing any comment that might distract her from her thoughts.

She continued. All of us proceeded to do a lot of running around, trying out plans to rescue you.... B'Elanna spent most of the dream throwing her tools at the aliens, and I told Tuvok to break out the compression phaser rifles.

Chakotay laughed; there were a great many jokes on Voyager concerning what constituted the appropriate time to break out the heavy weaponry. I'm gratified that you thought I was so important, he said.

She grinned with him, but wasn't impressed by his banter. Don't joke about it, Chakotay. This is serious. Or, it certainly felt serious at the time.

Chastened, he nodded his agreement. You're right. My apology.

She gave a nod, and a look warning him not to interrupt. Then she took up the narrative once again. Finally, we must have struck some sort of deal with your abductors, she said. They agreed to release you. So, we went to a large room with a high, vaulted ceiling, and we started making some kind of trade. Only they changed their minds. They wouldn't let you go. We tried everything to convince them to release you; they wouldn't let us move, the weapons didn't have any effect on them, they predicted everything we tried.... Her voice rose a fraction, some of the anxiety returning as the dream's tension increased. Her hands clutched together in her lap and she stared ahead into the empty room. I was frustrated, and angry, and helpless... nothing seemed to work. The next thing I knew, I was standing right in front of their leader... I was so scared that I was shaking. But I pointed at you and I said, 'I love that man, and I'm not leaving until you give him back.' Then I woke up. She paused to catch her breath, and that was it.

Chakotay was so stunned that for the first moment or so he couldn't do anything more than continue to hold his breath. She was right; this was serious. Serious and wholly unexpected. Only five and a half days had passed since their shared vision quest. Even if it was one of the beginnings, as Kathryn had labeled it, that wasn't much time. It seemed far too soon for such knowledge and depth of comprehension.

On the other hand, the admission of his animal guide's message had been a long time in coming.

A hiss of air escaped his tightly clenched teeth.

Kathryn wiped her hands on her uniform, rubbing up and down her legs, still nervous. She endeavored to speak, and her voice came out in a croak. She cleared her throat. I've been trying to decide what to do for most of the day, she confided.

Chakotay had to choke back a sharp laugh. He had been trying to decide what to do for most of his life. Her ability to make a quick decision and take action had always impressed him. This decision impressed him the most yet. Is it true? he asked on a rushed breath of air. He felt like he'd just run a mile.

Not the dream, of course, thank goodness for that. At least nothing like that has happened yet, but.... She forcibly stopped her babbling. Her breath ran out at last and the words trailed off. True enough. She hadn't looked at him for several minutes, and her gaze remained fixed on a point across the room. True for a long time, I think, she quietly added.

Chakotay sat very still, trying to let what she had said sink in. Considering the similar love he had always cherished for her, he should have been experiencing something close to euphoria at such a declaration from her. But the surprise was too great to feel much beyond numbness. He was oddly aware of their breathing, two even pulses of air flowing into the empty room, but nothing else. In the many dreams he'd had of this moment, this was not how he'd envisioned it. Not at all.

He tried to decipher his tangle of emotions, tried to unravel the lack of feeling he was experiencing, and instead came up with the last question he could have predicted he'd have. Why are you telling me this?

It was her turn to be stunned into speechlessness. He guessed that she had probably expected a confession of love on his part at this juncture of the conversation, and his deviation may have ruined a well-rehearsed argument.

Kathryn gathered herself together again quickly, and blurted, Because of the vision quest. He opened his mouth, ready to ask more questions, but she held up a hand, silencing him as effectively as she ever did on the Bridge. She was more in control of herself as she explained, I know of your feelings for me, which should come as no surprise; I could not experience that vision with you and not know by the end of it.

You knew before, he accused mildly. Although I suspect that you and I are equally as good at burying unwanted knowledge when we choose to be.

She almost smiled then, unable to disagree with him. I did know, she admitted slowly. And after the vision quest... these last five days have been such... fun, she finished on a note of surprise and wonder, as if she hadn't expected to feel that way. One eyebrow rose in appreciative irony. Who would have expected that a reception interrupted by a sudden attack could be fun? I certainly never did. But this... she said, referring to her dream and her feelings and the recent days, it took me by surprise. I wasn't prepared for this, I never wanted this....

Chakotay reached for her hand. Kathryn, there is no this.

Despite his assurance, that statement didn't do much to faze her. Of course there is. Don't play coy with me, Chakotay. You do that about as well as you lie, and we've already established that you're a bad liar.

I'm not being coy, he assured again. And I'm not about to deny my feelings for you. But before you tell me that you're the captain and you can't have any relationship with a subordinate --

Her brows lowered in a frown. How did you know I was going to say that?

He grinned, and cradled her hand more securely in his own. I'm your first officer, Kathryn; I've seen every one of your good days since we met. I've also seen all your bad days, and this is a bad one, he gently announced.

A rush of air signaled her agreement. Well, it hasn't been my best, she acknowledged honestly.

I know you well, he said next. Certainly well enough to predict how you would react to this situation, if it ever came up; you've come here to tell me that because you're the captain and I'm the first officer, there can't be any more book readings, no more working dinners where we don't discuss work, no more... no more fun, he ended on a sad note, using her own words to emphasize his point.

She sighed regretfully. I don't like it any more than you do, but I think it would be best if --

It isn't necessary, he told her suddenly

She was taken off guard by this second interruption. Excuse me? she said in a voice dulled by surprise.

He gave her hand a squeeze for reassurance as he began to explain. I don't want you to feel that you have to put an end to... this, he said, knowing it sounded lame, but unsure what word might better describe a relationship that so far had defied description. At least, not for the good of the crew, or because Starfleet regulation says that a relationship among the commanding officers is a bad idea. I know the vision quest was an expression of my feelings, and that sharing those feelings with you was the entire point of the vision. But suddenly forming a more personal relationship isn't the only response.

She stared at him, uncomprehending. A thoughtful moment passed, where she continued to stare blankly. Finally she inquired, What other response did you have in mind?

Chakotay could tell by the look on her face that he wasn't explaining himself very well. He thought that after detailing the vision quest to B'Elanna and having several days to think about it, he would understand the quest and its consequences well enough to explain it to Kathryn when they found the time to discuss it. But he found himself as befuddled as ever.

His confusion brought to mind something his mother had always told him. In times of great confusion, she had suggested that retreating back to simplicity was the best course of action, at least until the complexities of any situation were more manageable. Chakotay knew he could let his words wander through and around various descriptions of the vision, his feelings, his animal guide, and his wants and desires for the rest of the day, and they would both be just as confused as when he started. He needed to keep it simple, just as his mother... and B'Elanna, he suddenly remembered... always suggested.

So he started at the beginning, and concentrated on simplicity. Just like you said earlier, I've loved you for a long time. But I let myself get caught up in our mission to reach home, in following the behavioral guidelines set down in the Starfleet policy manual. It was easier to bury my feelings. And in a sense, I buried myself, too.

Kathryn was listening so intently that she had started to lean closer to him, as if that would help her to understand. You buried yourself.... Take away the heart, and you take away the man, she murmured on a soft breath of air. Is that why you started to meditate? she asked.

He nodded. One day, I just hit my limit, my wall, I guess you could say. I couldn't bury myself any longer without losing myself. That's when I started having the vision, and then the dream. The rest.... You know the rest.

The frown returned to etch deep lines across her face. She shook her head, as if she wanted to deny what she was hearing and understanding, but was unable to unlearn the truth. I never knew. I had.... She stopped herself, then admitted, I had no idea.

I'm not surprised, he said, gently telling her, We've grown distant over the last years. I think we both felt that it was safer that way.

Kathryn sighed at the further truth of that statement. Safer, she said with a soft but unforgiving snort of derision. Her frown twisted into an expression of anger and sadness until it looked as if she might cry. Her cheek muscles twitched with her effort to keep her emotions under control.

He watched her fight herself, fascinated at the struggle that she held so tightly in check, but perplexed by it as well. There wasn't any need for such a conflict. Kathryn, he began questioningly, but she cut him off.

Now I suppose that you're going to tell me that you don't have a problem with letting this relationship slide back into safety. That -- She paused and lowered her voice, forcing the anger out, making it less ragged and harsh. She took a deep breath, and calmly continued. That you find it acceptable to follow Starfleet policy.

The way she said that made it sound like he was contemplating a horrible crime. But that made little sense, as he always knew she would be the one most likely to conform to dictated regulations. Completely confused, he didn't know what else to do except persist in his decided course of action. Yes, if that's what we think will work out the best.

She turned to him, one eyebrow raised. Now she looked like she didn't believe what he was saying. Almost angrily she demanded, Then maybe you should tell me how that's any different than what you did before.

Chakotay sighed. This was proving harder than it should be. In a completely unexpected twist of fate, he actually agreed with Kathryn's previously mentioned concerns about having a relationship with a subordinate, even a close subordinate. An intimate alliance between the two commanding officers might have serious repercussions for the entire crew. It wasn't something to consider lightly. Yet it seemed that even agreement on this tricky subject wasn't simple, either. Explaining himself to B'Elanna had been far easier than doing the same to Kathryn.

Though on second thought, he probably should have expected it to be hard. There was no risk in talking about this ordeal to B'Elanna. Their relationship wasn't likely to change if she knew. But Kathryn had a keen, personal interest in everything he said. With that in mind, he chose his words carefully. What happened before happened because I was denying my true nature. I needed to accept my feelings, and I have. It isn't necessary for me to be in a relationship to do that.

She watched him closely as he spoke, her eyes taking in every facial expression he made, weighing every word he said. You aren't in danger of all this happening again? she wanted to know.

She was worried about him. That gratified Chakotay as much as it explained the mixed emotions he'd been reading through her behavior. No, he said in assurance. That won't happen again.

She turned away, nodding her head in agreement, the anger gone now that she understood. Her strong common sense forced her to be satisfied with his assessment of the situation. She certainly couldn't argue with logic that followed Starfleet's prescribed fraternization policies. So, nothing changes? she asked.

A small grin lifted the corners of his mouth. Well, you might find coffee waiting for you on the Bridge more often. Or a poem every now and then, with plenty of glorious death scenes included, just for you.

Caught off guard again by his affectionate banter, Kathryn smiled. Coffee and a poem? That sounds tempting.

His smile grew as well. Then he reiterated, But nothing changes, if that's the way it has to be.

She was silent for a moment, her gaze unfocused while she thought about all that they had said. Her smile became sober, and a little sad. She looked like she had just lost something precious. But she was determined. For the captain and commander of a starship, it's a good arrangement, she acknowledged quietly. It's realistic and... safe.

Kathryn fell silent again, and once more Chakotay heard their even breathing echo loudly in the still and hushed astrometrics lab.

Finally she looked up, and smiled, though it was a weak version of the happy expression he'd seen her display so often the last few days. Very well, she said, her voice decisive, committed. That's all that I needed to talk about. So, I guess I'll see you on the Bridge.

As soon as I'm finished here, he promised, trying not to show a sense of betrayal at how brutally final this arrangement was beginning to feel. Safe suddenly seemed to be the only good thing about this arrangement, Chakotay realized. The loss he suddenly felt was unexpected and unwelcome and useless.

With a last pat on his leg, Kathryn nodded and rose to leave. He stopped her by saying, Thank you, Kathryn, for helping me.

She looked at him, and gave another smile and a nod. Then she headed for the door without uttering a word.

One last time, Chakotay watched her go. Now that it was on the verge of being too late, he had to forcibly restrain himself from calling out to her to wait. He stood, but with an effort he held his tongue. In one last rebellion to policy and common sense, he silently strove to burn her retreating form into his memory, as a reminder that, when it came right down to the honest truth, he was doing this for her. A relationship between the two of them would be harder for her than for him, and by proclaiming that it wasn't necessary, he was attempting to save her from the need to make what could be an unpleasant decision. He wished he'd realized that sooner; he might have tried to talk himself out of it. Letting her go was a lot harder than he thought it would be.

Going wasn't any easier. Kathryn made it over half way to the door, but just as suddenly as she had announced her intentions and turned to go, she stopped.

Chakotay's breath caught painfully in his chest.

A second passed while she stood, unmoving. She gave a short, violent shake to her head, took three purposeful steps forward, and stopped again. She stood awkwardly, poised on the ball of her right foot, her head down and her hair hiding her face. She rocked lightly back and forth, one second leaning towards the door, the next firmly pulling away. Her hands balled into fists at her sides, clutched tight, her fingers working against her palms in sudden and furious thought. She was unbalanced, caught between two places and two lives and two minds.

The knot of breath moved to lodge in Chakotay's throat as he waited, silently, breathlessly, not daring to make a sound.

Abruptly she pivoted and returned to where he still stood near the screen level's carpeted steps. Her eyes met his in the first directly piercing gaze they had shared since she entered the room. This isn't what I want, Kathryn objected.

Chakotay didn't move. He was too scared to move. He stood, barely breathing, unable to think, incapable of speech, and his stomach quickly did a series of sickening flips of surprise and hope. His gaze locked with hers, he carefully swallowed and said, It's not what I want, either.

Almost as if her legs gave out, Kathryn fell rather than sat back down in her place on the step. The commander and the captain, she whispered, appalled at what they were suggesting, but suggesting it nonetheless. She groaned, I can't believe I'm considering this.

Chakotay turned to keep his eyes on her, soaking up the sight of her doing something as beautifully undignified as slouching on the astrometric lab's steps in a heap of doubt. He sat beside her, and offered his hand. I want this, he told her, absolutely certain, as decisive as she had been when she told him she wanted the opposite.

Without hesitation, she placed her hand in his. So do I. And that scares the hell out of me.

He knew what she meant. His breath was still half frozen in his throat. He choked, If it wasn't scary, it wouldn't be real. My spirit guide said --

... do not be afraid, she finished for him. She held his hand tight, and with her other hand cautiously reached across the space between them and gently pressed his cheek. I remember. I've been repeating it to myself ever since she said it. Her hand traveled up to softly brush his eye, his brow, and at last to cover the tattoo that marked his forehead.

Her fingers were cool and smooth sliding across his skin. He was aware that his hands were starting to sweat. Still, that didn't stop him from reaching out just as cautiously and tracing the pattern of his tattoo lightly across her brow and into the edge of her hair.

Kathryn paused her exploration to gently rub his cheek. This isn't the most foolish thing we've ever done in our lives, she confessed, though she gave the impression that she thought it was a close second.

He tilted his head into her hand, reveling in the feel of her skin against his. No, he agreed. The most foolish thing we've done is not doing this sooner.

Her features erupted in a smile, lighting her eyes to shine like a sun. She lifted her arms around his neck, and he pressed her close, a matching smile of relief and astonished, giddy happiness blazing across his face.

Their first embrace was awkward, as most beginnings are, even when the true beginning had begun years before. He didn't care how awkward he felt. This was what was right. His first kiss landed like a soft breeze on her temple. Her first kiss landed squarely on his mouth, her hand caressing his cheek. Her lips were hot, and soft as velvet feathers. Intoxicating. He drank her in, unable to stop, and it was as easy to fill himself with her as it had been to breath the scent of roses in his vision. She was his joy. He instantly knew he was in danger of drowning.

Tuvok saved them both.

*Bridge to Captain Janeway.*

Kathryn broke the kiss, jerking back as if she'd been burned, breathing hard. Damn, she whispered, and licked her lips, working to regain control of herself, though the expression in her eyes indicated that was half considering ignoring his hail. That man has the worst timing.

Chakotay agreed completely. I think he does it on purpose, he accused while his emotions continued to reel in a dizzying tumble.

She grinned, and laughed a quiet laugh. You could be right. Then she took a breath, cleared her throat, and with dignified grace, said, Janeway here. Go ahead, Tuvok.

If Tuvok was suspicious of the lengthy silence before her reply, he didn't indicate it in his report. *The class 'M' planet is within scanner range, Captain. The away team is in place, awaiting your orders.*

Thank you, Tuvok. I'm on my way. Janeway out.

A second slipped by, then the channel opened again, this time for Chakotay.

*Commander Chakotay, please report to transporter room two.*

Chakotay grinned, amused. Tuvok was not a stupid man. He was head of security, and knew perfectly well that the captain and the commander were in the same location. He had opened two channels as a ruse, to waylay suspicion and gossip on the part of the crew. To buy them some time. Maybe Tuvok isn't as bad as we thought, he confided in a whisper.

Kathryn smiled secretly. Maybe you're right.

Chakotay had to make a monumental effort to turn his attention to answering the hail. Acknowledged, Tuvok - I'm on my way. Chakotay out.

Kathryn started to release her hold on him and move back. This time he didn't let her escape. He tugged her close, and gave her another quick kiss before letting her go.

They stood and took a moment to straighten their rumpled uniforms and catch their breath. There was just enough light in the room to illuminate the glow in their cheeks, and their shaking hands. If Chakotay hadn't been so overwhelmed by the turn of events, he would have laughed heartily at the absurdity of their situation.

The captain gave him an appraising last look. Don't think you're getting away that easily, Chakotay. I want a full report on what you find on that planet, and I want you to include plenty of detail. Her voice was stern, but her face was still flushed and her eyes sparkled with unexpressed emotion.

I'll make sure to deliver it personally, at the very first available opportunity, he said flirtatiously, a smile starting to crinkle the skin around his eyes.

Is that a promise? she asked, just as flirtatious, her tone offering a promise of its own.

In such a humor, she was irresistible. Absolutely, he answered, and he meant every syllable.

Good, she said with a soft laugh. Consider it a date.

I will, he replied, delighted.

They headed for the door, and he continued, Speaking of dates, I think I'll look for a few good climbing trees while I'm planetside. I have... He looked at her, her captain's mask only half in place yet, her eyes still glancing up at him every few seconds, and he couldn't resist one last caress across her cheek. I have a friend who likes to climb trees. She paused long enough to look at him, surprised that he remembered that incident from his vision quest. She looked as if he'd just offered her the world. You never could resist a good challenge, he said. Or a good climbing tree.

No, she agreed with him, a smile on her face. She stood on tiptoe and softly kissed his cheek. Neither could you.

Smiling, blushing, their cheeks and eyes like roses, they linked hands and, together, left the lab. The star chart of Voyager's course remained displayed on the screen, forgotten, its soft, blue glow filling the empty room with the light of an ongoing journey, and the promise of a journey just begun.

THE END

Part 4 || Contents