The door to the science laboratory closed behind Chakotay with a sigh. His particular mission accomplished, he turned left down the corridor, heading for the turbolift and Sickbay, instinctively dodging crewmembers as he went. He was aware of them only enough to avoid them - the majority of his attention was taken up with thoughts of the captain.

Most of the time, he was able to forget his feelings for her. As many as several weeks might go by without any twinges to disturb what was becoming a pleasantly smooth life for him on board Voyager. Then something would happen. It could be a crisis of dramatic proportions, such as an alien attack, or a small occurrence, like Kathryn sending him a secret smile across the Bridge. Then he could be lost for hours in a haze of dreams, sensations, idle wonderings, and memories. He liked the memories the best. The daydreams usually left him feeling slightly uncomfortable, as if he was intruding on something he didn't have any business thinking about. The future hadn't happened yet, and he refused to conjecture on its possibilities more than he could help himself. But the memories were his.

It was interesting what he chose to recall during those mental journeys. With very few exceptions, he dwelled largely on the good times, the happy events, the moments when he had looked at her and felt a marvelous sense of peace. Though he didn't know exactly when it had started, thoughts of Kathryn always made him smile. He was happy just being there with her, doing what he was doing. The entire process was innocent and oddly relaxing. The contentment usually revealed itself in his offerings of simple gifts, such as a cup of coffee.

The thought of coffee brought the recent events back full force, and any peace he'd found with his musings disappeared. As often as he preferred to indulge in his memories, he occasionally suffered nightmares. Chakotay had never dreamt about Kathryn's death, though he'd all but experienced it once. However, every now and then he found himself thinking of the years of emptiness that would follow such an event. The fear that accompanied those imaginings was always the same: profound, gripping, and infinite. He realized that the need to be prepared for the captain's death was genuine, and he did force himself to do his best to cope with the possibility, but meditating on the appropriate actions needed to make a transition like that as painless as possible for the crew was not the same as going through the motions, real or imagined, of accepting Kathryn's eventual death. The entire notion left him chilled and slightly sick.

The sick sensation accosted him now. The corridor outside the lab was cool and the atmosphere relaxed, but his muscles were tensed and his stomach churned as he continually recalled her skin flaking off her fingers when he'd reached out to stop her hand. Watching that happen to someone special to him was harder than having it happen to himself. So he hurried along the corridor, knowing he couldn't do anything for her, but feeling that he could help just by being with her. At least, that might make him feel better.

Chakotay smiled ruefully, but the beep of his communicator cut his thoughts short. *Paris to Chakotay.*

Tom's voice was calm, professional, and revealed nothing. It didn't do anything to soothe Chakotay's nerves. Chakotay here, he answered, and didn't slow his steps to give more of his attention to the lieutenant. He could talk and walk at the same time. His rueful grin returned.

Tom's report was brief. Chakotay guessed he was busy assisting the doctor. *I got her to Sickbay, though I think most of her skin had rubbed off on her uniform before we made it. She wouldn't let me use the transporter.*

I'm not surprised, Chakotay said. He'd reached the turbolift, but had to wait for the next available car. He stood impatiently at the doors.

*The doctor's stabilized her. I'll let you know what we find out as soon as I can.*

No need - I'm on my way. Chakotay out. The lift arrived, and he jumped in, giving his destination before the doors had time to close.

Unable to restrain the urge to hurry, he barked, Report! with his first step into Sickbay.

The doctor looked up from the wall panel he was monitoring, and grinned. Commander, we've been expecting you.

If Chakotay wasn't so concerned about the captain, he would have taken the time to contemplate the hologram's smile. As it was, he had the vague impression that he had interrupted a conversation between the doctor and Tom Paris where he'd been the main topic under discussion. But the answering smile on Paris's face was just marginally facetious, and he couldn't be sure without more information. He dismissed it for more pressing concerns. How is she?

She's fine, the doctor answered with his usual flair for understatement at a time when details would have been more useful. Given time, she'll make a complete recovery.

Chakotay took a breath and told himself to be patient. Do you know what happened?

Of course I do, he announced glibly. She ingested a cup of coffee, then proceeded to relieve her system of all those unhealthy chemicals found in coffee by... well.... He paused, trying to think of the most non-threatening way to describe the captain's recent trauma.

Paris finished for him. Shedding.

The doctor's brows rose. Excellent choice of words, Mr. Paris! Very... patient friendly, he complimented. He then turned to the commander and cocked his head, ready to deliver his latest lecture series. I have recently undertaken the study of reassuring my patients by reducing the seriousness of their particular affliction. Do you feel reassured, Commander?

Not particularly, Chakotay thought, but only said, I'd appreciate it if you could just give me a report, Doctor.

The doctor's smile turned to a frown, and he snorted. Very well. Offended, he marched over to the biobed where the captain was resting. As you can see, I've sedated her -

To keep her from scratching, Paris helpfully informed, and the doctor turned his sour expression on the lieutenant for a quick glare before looking again at Chakotay. He hated to be interrupted.

Yes, he continued. By the time she arrived in Sickbay, most of the top epidermal layer was gone, and the lower layer was eroding quickly. If she'd spent much longer in that uniform, she wouldn't have had any skin left. Fortunately, Mr. Paris did some fast thinking for once in his life...

Paris sent the doctor a look of his own. I resent that!

The doctor ignored his interruption this time. ... and managed to get her to Sickbay with a minimum of fuss. I was able to save most of the lower epidermal layer, though the dermis was exposed in a few places: along her arms, across one cheek, on her feet. He paused when Chakotay and Paris gave him puzzled looks. I believe her boots are too tight, he explained.

Paris said, Oh. The look he sent to Chakotay said a great deal more.

Make sure she replicates new boots, Commander, the doctor ordered, and without missing a beat, went on, I've started treatment with the dermal regenerator, and she should be able to return to duty later on today or tomorrow.

Chakotay nodded, his eyes now riveted to Kathryn. Because of a metallic sheet that covered almost her entire body, he couldn't see much more than her head and neck and the tops of her shoulders. But what he could see looked red and blotchy, as if she'd been seared by intense heat. What's causing her skin to be so red? he asked, still concerned despite the doctor's reassurances.

Dermal regenoration, he said, his tone indicating that he thought the commander was a dolt to be asking such an obvious question. New skin is always flushed. She'll look more normal in a few hours.

Chakotay didn't much care what the doctor thought of his intelligence level. He was just glad that the captain's condition wasn't serious. Good. Thank you, Doctor. Oh, and one more thing. The doctor gave an irritated sigh, but stopped his current tricorder scan and looked up. Do you know the cause?

The annoyance dissipated at the question. Beyond the usual allergic reaction, no, he said, sounding as if he were both surprised and displeased by the fact. According to her medical records, the captain isn't allergic to anything. So far, my scans have revealed an abundance of chemicals in her system, but I can't seem to make a connection between their presence and the captain's condition. I can only guess that this is the manifestation of latent allergies. I'll let you know if I find out anything more, he promised.

Chakotay nodded. Thank you, he repeated. Knowing he wouldn't do any good standing around Sickbay, getting in the way and further irritating the doctor, he chose to leave. He addressed his last comment to Tom. Stay as long as the doctor needs you, Tom. We'll keep the helm secure until you get back.

Tom grinned. Thanks, Commander.

Chakotay left Sickbay, allowing himself only one last, cursory glance at Kathryn. She was lying so quietly on the biobed he wouldn't have known if she were alive or not but for the constant beeping of the machine monitoring her heart rate. He found that simple noise more reassuring than any words offered by the doctor.

How are you?

From what I understand, a sight better than the last time you saw me!

Janeway grinned mischievously at her first officer, and he grinned back. Dressed in Starfleet medical garb and a blanket that covered her from the waist down, she had been sitting up on the biobed, concentrating heavily on the data padd in her hand when he entered Sickbay for an updated report from the doctor. Several hours had passed since his last visit, and the dermal regenerator had performed the miracles the doctor had promised it would. Her new skin was no longer flushed and blotchy, but a healthy pink with just a tinge of rosy coloring that made her practically glow.

Chakotay noticed her appearance and appreciated her speedy recovery, but he couldn't resist the opportunity to tease her a bit. I don't know. I thought you looked pretty good then - a little red, maybe, but I hear that's the newest fashion on board. Neelix may have hit on something impressive with his coffee recipe.

Drink coffee and lose your skin? She shook her head, willing to play along with his bantering. I'm not so sure. If he could work it so that we could drink coffee and lose weight... now then he might have something!

Chakotay patted his stomach hidden by the bulk of the Starfleet uniform. Then I would have to start drinking coffee, and you might have to hand over your title of coffee queen. I'm not sure I'm queen material.

Janeway laughed and swatted him playfully with the data padd. Chakotay, stop! Laughing makes my skin itch! She forced herself to frown, and rubbed at her cheeks with her free hand. Instinctively, she glanced at her fingertips, but no skin flaked off this time, and she gave a relieved sigh. Her eyes met Chakotay's now somber gaze. I still expect it to start peeling off, she admitted, all teasing gone from her voice. The doctor assures me it won't, but....

I know, he said, understanding. It wasn't easy for Kathryn to allow herself to be frightened. She felt it was her duty to remain strong for the crew, no matter what misfortune had befallen either the ship as a whole or her personally. But she'd had a scare, and even Captain Janeway needed time to recover her former sense of invincibility. If it makes you feel any better, he said as he leaned comfortably against her bed, you really do look a lot better than you did this morning.

Thank you, Chakotay. That does improve my morale. She smiled, shy now that he'd moved the conversation to a more personal level, but relieved to talk about it at the same time. The data padd was still in her hand, and she dropped it to flex her fingers. The motion pulled at the new skin. It's tight until I move, and then it itches in the strangest way, almost as if there's a million tiny feathers underneath my skin, rustling back and forth. The doctor already has me doing calisthenics to stretch it all in the appropriate directions. Her smile mutated into an enduring grimace at her last statement.

Chakotay could understand this sentiment too. Our doctor is nothing if not thorough.

Kathryn clasped her fingers together while she observed, You know, I could say the same thing about you. She smiled, the expression once again soft and pleasant, and glanced at him surreptitiously. She had been thinking about how quickly he'd followed her to Sickbay ever since she'd heard about it that morning, and wondered what he might say in response to a little goading. She was faintly ashamed of herself for baiting him, but curiosity won out over any possible regret. She still fondly remembered the cup of coffee he'd brought her that morning. It wasn't the coffee itself that conjured the fond feelings, but the fact that he'd thought to make her a cup in the first place. Replicating a drink was easy. But he'd even known how much sugar she liked to use. Chakotay was more attentive to her than she'd ever taken the time to notice. Besides, thoughts of Chakotay kept her from dwelling on her recent trauma of almost devolving into a salamander again. So she swallowed her pride and continued her quest in as innocent a tone as she could muster. I heard that you came down as soon as you could to bark orders at the poor doctor. Tom told me.

Tom needs to mind his own business.

He was timing you to see how long it would take before you showed up. She was grinning now, all pretense at softness gone in lieu of an obvious desire to tease. Her comment was gentle and not reproachful, but it was still teasing.

He was timing me? Chakotay asked incredulously, abandoning all thoughts of trying to discern what she was up to by mentioning this subject. He scowled. So that's what they were talking about! At her puzzled look, he explained. I thought I had interrupted some conversation when I walked in, and now I know. Well, that's what I get for showing concern for a friend. Next time you start shedding all over the Bridge, you're on your own! he threatened mockingly.

Kathryn shook her head. Oh, no! I don't plan to try this again! As soon as Science figures out what Neelix put in that coffee, I'm ordering him to flush it immediately out the airlock!

Chakotay chuckled. I think Neelix is safe for awhile.

They haven't found anything yet?

We'll let you know when they do, he said.

She nodded her head, grateful. I know you will. I just hope this isn't a new side effect of coffee. I would hate to have to give it up.

Chakotay patted her leg through the blanket in a friendly gesture. I wouldn't start withdrawal just yet if I were you. He left his hand on her leg for a brief moment, smiling his gentle smile.

She couldn't help herself; she smiled back. For an equally brief moment she was not the captain of Voyager, the commander was not her first officer, and they were not bound by rules and regulations prohibiting them from engaging in anything that went beyond the typical command relationship. He was Chakotay, she was Kathryn, and they might as well have been back on New Earth, grinning at each other over the delight of watching the glow of a sunrise turn her bathtub a revolting shade of yellow. Sludge, he had called that color, and she'd agreed, thinking that it looked like something Neelix might cook up late one night when he couldn't sleep, in the hopes of keeping the rest of the crew awake with him the next night. The two had been as free and released as those sunrises they had watched.

That was then.

The beep of the medical scanners seeped into her thoughts, and she crashed back to the present. This wasn't New Earth, and never would be.

Kathryn stopped her smile before the gesture could be mistaken as encouragement. One of her biggest fears was that she would one day make some move that he might misconstrue as a sign that it was time to resume the relationship that had taken life on New Earth. She had to be so careful not to mislead him... or herself. What's the status of the ship? she asked, her tone the brisk, efficient tones of a captain once again. Her chin went up in response to the sudden change. This gesture was her shield against certain commander's endearing smiles.

Chakotay recognized the movement, and his hand obligingly left the blanket. He crossed his arms against his chest, holding himself tight to keep the sadness he always felt when she turned away from him out of his voice. Harry looked over the sensor logs and didn't find any strange anomalies or alien auras clinging to the hull, so we've pretty much discarded outside influences. Tuvok scanned the inside of the ship, and he didn't find anything either. Now we're waiting for that report from Science.

She nodded once. His words registered in her mind, but only in the most peripheral sense. Despite his care, she had seen the hurt caused by her abrupt behavior. Quite suddenly, she was ashamed of herself. It wasn't like the pleasant shame she'd felt earlier while teasing him about his hasty arrival in Sickbay. This emotion was foul, and bombarded her in a flood of self-reproach; why did she always treat him like that? The constant need to keep a distance between them frequently encouraged her to push him away, particularly when she felt comfortable with him, as she did now. But was it necessary to do the pushing so cruelly? He was one of her dearest friends on this ship; in reality, one of her only friends. To treat that friendship so cavalierly was... pathetic.

Kathryn cringed at her thoughts, not quite able to restrain the expression before it leaked out for him to see.

Chakotay, observant as always, saw. His first thought was that she was in pain. But she didn't move, and he assumed that she would call for the doctor if she needed any help. His second thought was more accurate; he realized she had correctly interpreted his sadness, and had obviously been consciously pricked by something unpleasant because of it. This startled him. He was so used to her almost offhand way of treating him that it had ceased to surprise him, and he'd learned to accept it long ago. Or, at least, the commanding officer side of him had accepted it. The part of him that he kept strictly reserved for himself and his few friends was baffled every time Kathryn pulled away from him. He understood her reasons for doing it. He just didn't understand why she felt the reasons were necessary.

And now he'd actually witnessed a sign of her own mental anguish caused in part by himself. Good, he thought suddenly. At least I know she's alive in there, he continued wryly to himself.

To cover the emotion she suspected was beginning to show on her face, Janeway quickly responded to the commander's report, interrupting his thoughts. Have Harry continue making sensor sweeps. I suppose it can't hurt. It might also be a good idea to close the kitchen in the meantime. Whatever happened to the coffee, we don't want it to happen to anything else.

Neelix closed the kitchen right after the briefing this morning. He had the same concerns you do.

Janeway's brow rose. Excellent. That's extremely... efficient of Mr. Neelix.

Chakotay gave a half smile, the most he was capable of at the moment. He was positively beside himself this morning. I think shutting everything down made him feel more in control.

How's he doing now?

The usual, Chakotay admitted. He's annoying Science every two minutes to ask for an update.

She laughed lightly. Good for him. He's a man who likes answers. Reminds me of a certain commander I know. How was I so lucky to get such a determined crew? she joked in an attempt to lighten the emotions they were both suffering.

It worked. His smile grew in spite of his emotions' efforts to subdue it. I have no idea. You certainly don't deserve us, he informed her teasingly. Before she could respond to such an outrageous comment from a subordinate, he plunged on. I need to get back to the Bridge: Tuvok wants to annoy Science as much as Neelix does, and I promised to give him the opportunity this afternoon. The doctor already informed me that you won't be returning to duty until tomorrow. She grimaced at that statement and issued a deep sigh; as the only member of the crew with the authority to relieve her of duty, the doctor had taken advantage of his position to force the captain to get some rest. They both knew what the doctor was up to, and though the captain may not like it, Chakotay knew the medical officer would not back down. The smile that he tried to squelch this time was more genuine. We'll try to keep the ship in one piece until then.

See that you do! she ordered mockingly, her smile as genuine as his. Her expression offset the order, as she knew it would. The notion that Chakotay couldn't handle the ship for a single day was ridiculous. Even she wasn't under the delusion that her presence was necessary for the functioning and well-being of Voyager.

Aye, Captain. Chakotay turned away with a quick wink and a final, impertinent pat to her blanket-covered leg. The pat was meant to give her something to think about while he was gone.

Kathryn began pondering the minute his back was turned.

The commander disappeared through the doors just as the doctor appeared from around the corner. The hologram had witnessed the entire scene from the safety of his office, and he was alert enough to pick up on the subtle nuances that defined the commanding officer's relationship. Starfleet's rules against eavesdropping on senior officers were explicit, but the doctor was not above breaking regulations if he thought it was in the best interest of his patients. In the case of Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay, he was convinced it was in their best interests at this point for him to intervene. After spending several years watching Janeway and Chakotay, he knew that something was not as it should be. He was not so adept as to actually pinpoint what was wrong, but he was sure he could be of some assistance. After a quick, appraising look at the departing first officer, the hologram turned to the captain, a pleasant smile disguising his thoughts.

Ah, captain! It's time for your exercises! He beamed at her, and she groaned.

Doctor, she entreated, we did exercises only an hour ago. Is this really necessary? Suddenly inspired, she held aloft the data padd she hadn't glanced at since Chakotay's arrival. I have a great deal of work to accomplish before -

Amazed that she'd offered such an excellent opportunity, the doctor deftly snatched the padd from her hands. Nonsense! he expostulated cheerfully. As I've often heard Commander Chakotay say, 'There's no time like the present.' He set the padd on a table far out of his patient's reach, his irrepressible smile still in place.

Janeway wasn't fooled by the smile. She eyed him suspiciously. When did you hear Chakotay say that? I've never heard him say that before.

Then you clearly don't spend as much time with him as the rest of us do.

Completely taken aback by the doctor's casual accusation, Kathryn wondered, That's not true! Is it? Distracted and besieged by sudden thoughts, she was too surprised to even begin to formulate an intelligent reply.

So that he wouldn't have to explain such a cryptic statement, the doctor took her hand, then braced himself against Janeway's shoulder. Now, he began quickly, let's work on stretching your arms, shall we? I'm sure this won't hurt a bit. He pulled her hand down and pushed on her shoulder at the same time.

Ow! she complained instantly as the skin stretched painfully in response to the sudden motion. That hurt, she told him.

As if I can't see that on my own, he thought sourly, but kept his benign expression in place, determined to be reassuring as well as covertly keeping the conversation open to possible tangents. Good. That means you're healing. Now, try pushing against my hand to flex your arm muscles.

Janeway complied with the doctor's request, but let him know by the thunderous look on her face that she wasn't happy about it.

After several repetitions of the same exercise, the doctor moved around to the other side of her biobed. Now your other arm, Captain.

Janeway sighed, unable to keep her irritation to herself. Really, Doctor, your help isn't required. I'm quite capable of doing this on my own.

He smiled. Of course you are, Captain. But at the same time, it's good to have somebody willing to help you. And I'm more than willing! he gushed. He also knew that if he didn't force her to do these exercises, she would never do them on her own. Please push.

She did, then tried another tact. Attempting to distract him, she said, Chakotay mentioned that you haven't heard anything from Science yet.

The doctor beamed again. And speaking of Commander Chakotay; I've been meaning to talk to you about him! he exclaimed, choosing to ignore her comment in favor of the subject that he preferred to discuss. Once more he was amazed that she had offered him such a wonderful opening. If he didn't know better, he would think she was doing it on purpose. But he knew better. He paused just long enough to pique her curiosity, then went on conversationally, Unfortunately, we've both been so busy lately. One gaseous anomaly here, one alien attack there, twenty or so medical emergencies later... well, you know how it is. He looked sufficiently concerned, exhausted, and interested all at once even as he moved to the foot of her biobed. He tossed the blanket aside to take her right foot in hand. He began to rotate her foot none too gently back and forth.

Janeway bit her lip against the discomfort this time and ignored the doctor's obvious commentary on recent events. She was far more concerned about his opinion of her first officer. Was something troubling Chakotay? And if so, why did the doctor know about it before she did? Her interest successfully piqued, she carefully asked, What's happened with Chakotay?

Oh, nothing, nothing, the doctor assured. I'm simply concerned. He moved to her left foot.

No more information followed. Janeway's brows rose inquiringly. Why? she eventually had to ask. The doctor was behaving just oddly enough to make her own concern more acute. Maybe something really was wrong. She liked to think that Chakotay would seek her out if he wanted advice or needed to talk. But now that she thought about it, she wasn't at all sure that he would choose to confide in her. It was a notion that caused her a pang of regret, but at the same time, she couldn't blame him. She had hardly invited him into her confidence over the years. She hadn't invited anybody into her confidence, but she didn't expect Chakotay to know that. And her cool behavior towards him wasn't exactly encouraging him to share his thoughts, either. A hint of the shame she'd felt earlier began to play with her emotions again, and she glanced quickly at the doctor to divert herself.

The doctor had paused with his eyes cast dramatically at the ceiling, her left foot still cradled in his hands. Perhaps I shouldn't say anything. It's not exactly my place, after all. If the commander wanted to talk, I suppose he would approach a member of the crew... Lieutenant Torres, for example -

Doctor, Janeway prodded. Stop rambling. What's on your mind?

Just this. The doctor abruptly dropped her foot in favor of gaining her attention. Lately I've noticed the commander looking rather... He stopped himself. Saying that Chakotay looked 'sad' might be a little too close to what had actually happened only a few moments before. It wouldn't be a good idea to remind the captain of what she had probably also observed so soon after the fact. One eye closed in concentration, the doctor ran through his extensive vocabulary database. Chakotay appeared to be - ... morose, he decided. Yes, that was definitely a good choice of words, accurate yet imaginative. He almost grinned before he remembered that he was supposed to be looking concerned. He managed to furrow his brows and frown instead at the last minute.

So far Janeway hadn't learned anything that she didn't already know. Morose? she questioned encouragingly.

The doctor nodded. Once I had begun to think about it, it occurred to me that the commander's high position on board this ship might very well isolate him from his fellow crewmembers.

You don't say, Janeway commented, growing suddenly suspicious. This little conversation could easily become a commentary on her own self-imposed solitude.

I do say, said the doctor, ignoring the captain's subtle sarcasm. Just think about it, Captain. If something upsetting were to happen... for example, he suddenly found himself caught in the middle of a dispute between crewmembers... who would he go to for advice? Or if he simply wanted to talk about the events of the day, who could listen to the ramblings of a superior officer? He's very cut off! declared the doctor indignantly. He glared at Janeway as if the predicament were all her fault.

Actually, Chakotay's plight was her doing, if not her fault. The fact that she hadn't considered a scenario such as the doctor was suggesting didn't make her feel any better about appointing him to his position. Over the years she had grown keenly aware of her own sense of isolation and aloneness as the commanding officer aboard a starship with no reprieve, but in all that time she hadn't given much thought to Chakotay's identical experience. She hadn't dared. When dealing with the commander, even in friendly or playful situations, most of her concentration was centered on maintaining the distance between them that she felt was crucial for the command structure on Voyager. If the gulf separating them ever closed, she didn't know how much of the ensuing situation she could control. The occurrences on New Earth always lurked in the back of her mind, constantly tempting her with possibilities that were far more impossible when faced with the reality of Voyager's unique situation. The only way she knew how to deal with this type of emotional burden was to ignore it. Since Chakotay had always been the center of those emotions, she had instinctively cut him off from... well, from everything, she realized. It was just as the doctor described.

Now you're looking morose, Captain, the doctor observed in hidden delight. But there's no need: I have a plan, he announced then, his smile returning with calculated spontaneity. His personal mission to intervene for the officers' benefits was working out better than he had hoped. Janeway never knew what hit her. I was thinking - there's no reason why a crewmember can't offer to be the commander's sounding board. An offering of such would certainly take any pressure off Commander Chakotay, since he wouldn't have done any personal choosing of his own. You see, Captain, he continued enthusiastically, I'm becoming more and more interested in the Human psyche, and the commander is an excellent study. He's the tragic hero.

He is? she asked, bemused.

Naturally. Here he is, thrust far from home, forced to serve under... um, rather, serve with the enemy, to uphold the ideals and traditions he had forsaken -

Janeway swallowed a laugh, but she couldn't stop herself from saying, Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic, Doctor?

The doctor paused to consider. Perhaps, he conceded, and retrieved her left foot from the bed for more exercises. He wiggled her toes back and forth, still contemplating. But Commander Chakotay is such a reserved, private man. Some even claim he's very mysterious.

Janeway had to make a bigger effort to keep her amusement to herself this time. There's nothing mysterious about Chakotay, she said.

That's what you think, the doctor replied bluntly, successfully arousing her curiosity again. What the commander needs, he went on relentlessly, is a confidant, a counselor if you will, a -

Janeway interrupted. A friend, she quietly hazarded to guess. She didn't feel that she could claim that distinct honor at this point in their voyage. That saddened her.

A friend! Yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about! Pleased that he was moving the talk along so expertly, he switched to the toes on her other foot. I would volunteer to be his 'friend' as you put it, but I've discovered that few people wish to become friends with a hologram. Especially a medical hologram. His expression turned acerbic. Kes was the only person who ever treated me as a friend. Now that she's gone, the only crewmember I see on any regular basis is Seven of Nine, and she's hardly a conversationalist, he groused, then sighed heavily, more annoyed than upset. As far as he was concerned, the Voyager crew didn't know what they were missing. It was their loss, he decided. But these thoughts were not helping him help the captain solve the dilemma of Commander Chakotay. He went on doubtfully, I suppose that I could offer my services anyway....

I'll talk to him, Janeway said.

You will? He glanced up, thrilled that it had been so easy. He had expected to spend some time persuading her to meet the commander on a more personal level, but he had never anticipated that she might volunteer. He was better at this game of subterfuge than he thought!

The captain continued. If something is bothering my first officer, I should certainly be expected to talk to him about it.

That's not exactly what I had in mind, the doctor thought with a grimace. For a Starfleet captain, she has no imagination. Come now, Captain, he interrupted her misguided intentions while studying the skin around her right heel where the damage caused by her allergies had been more severe. The doctorly action gave him a moment for some quick thinking, time that he desperately needed. You can hardly expect the commander to respond to a superior officer as he would to someone he is at ease with, such as a friend, he commented, still thinking furiously. But, he said with an exaggerated sigh, I guess your advice is better than nothing. It might help with whatever's troubling him. He has, after all, been... morose. With that, he turned away, not trusting himself enough to see how she responded to his 'concerns' without revealing his true motives. After fiddling needlessly with several instruments on his computer console, he returned to the head of her bed, calm and efficient once again. Now, Captain, it's time to stretch those stomach muscles! Lie down please. He accompanied his words with an encouraging push on her shoulders.

Uff! Janeway grunted. She was too consumed by renewed worry about Chakotay and how to go about alleviating that worry to protest her treatment beyond saying, That hurt!

Chakotay was sitting quietly in his office later that night, perusing the vast number of reports that defined much of the first officer's duties when he heard the news from the doctor. Despite the science department's best efforts, they had failed to supply any reason for the captain's unusual reaction to Neelix's coffee. They had uncovered and identified several unnecessary chemicals that Neelix had mistakenly added to his home brew, but nothing that could possibly cause an allergic reaction as severe as the captain's. For some reason, this worried Chakotay as much as it absolved Neelix. He didn't like unanswered questions.

Chapter 1 || Contents || Chapter 3