Very well. Captain Janeway laid the data padd on the conference room table and glanced at each senior officer in turn. She rocked back in her chair and smiled languidly. I'd like to say that these are the most impressive departmental reports I think I've ever seen. Things are going so well, it's almost scary.

B'Elanna Torres snorted inelegantly. When everybody turned to look at her, she choked on a second laugh. Hastily she explained, I know what you mean, Captain. Every time I walk through Engineering, I try not to breath - it might interrupt the teamwork.

I wish we knew what caused this cohesiveness. It would make a pretty interesting study in case we were ever in a situation where we could implement it. Chakotay swung his chair sideways and leaned his elbow comfortably on the table. He thought about winking at Kathryn, then decided against it. A kiss in the mess hall was one thing. Flirting at a briefing was quite another, even if the atmosphere was more conducive to informality than usual.

Harry Kim folded his hands on the table and confidently declared, I think everybody's just happy.

Janeway turned her gaze to him. She pensively considered his idea, noting that, though she couldn't speak for the rest of the crew, she certainly felt good. Make that pretty darned good, she decided. Whatever the cause, Mr. Kim, I'm not going to question the outcome. I like what I'm seeing. Let's try to do what we can to keep the ship running this smoothly.

Aye, Captain, Harry replied almost rhetorically, then grinned, suddenly very happy himself. The captain looked more relaxed than he'd ever seen her. Senior staff briefings never used to be this enjoyable. Things had definitely improved, and he had his own theories as to when and why the improvement had taken place.

Captain Janeway continued, Now, I want to deal with Tuvok's theory of boosting the energy output in the sensors and scanners using the waste energy from our warp engines. With the new nacelle conduits, this might prove possible at long last.

Chakotay interrupted, Another interesting study we can do - if it works.

The captain nodded. These new conduits make a lot of things possible for us. We were extremely fortunate to attain them.

B'Elanna interrupted this time. What do you know; the Delta Quadrant does have something to offer. Smiles erupted around the table. The lieutenant's general derision of the quadrant as a whole was widely known throughout the ship.

Why Lieutenant Torres, how openly optimistic of you to finally admit that, joked Janeway. How about if you and Commander Chakotay work on aligning the conduit relays from Engineering while I see to the Bridge reconfiguration from here with Ensign Kim.

I've already worked out some of the matrices, Captain, Kim informed. I'll transfer the data to the main computer as soon as the briefing is over.

Janeway smiled at the ensign's natural exuberance. She could always count on Harry to be thinking ahead. Excellent, Mr. Kim. Commander, since we have a jump on you up here, let us know when you and Ms. Torres are finished in Engineering.

Aye, Captain. The desire to wink was even more powerful this time, but he valiantly suppressed it.

Janeway pretended not to notice. Mr. Tuvok, reroute sufficient power to the new systems for a test later on today. I think we can get this up and working by... oh, say fourteen hundred hours. A chorus of affirmatives echoed around the table. Mr. Paris, you have the Bridge. That's all for today. Dismissed.

As they broke up and left the conference room, Harry found himself behind Tom and B'Elanna. He couldn't help overhear Tom mutter, Did you see that?

B'Elanna was more intent on the data padd in her hand than Tom's observations. See what? She punched a few commands into the padd, scowled, then tried another command.

The captain, Tom hissed quietly.

What about her? The data refused to comply to her computations and her distraction continued.

They paused just outside the secondary turbolift in the Bridge access corridor. Well, she was just so... I don't know... relaxed.

Torres glanced up at Tom, irritated at having her work interrupted for something so insignificant. So? She's in a good mood. I think we should be thrilled and run before something happens to end it.

That's not all it is, though, Tom persisted. I mean, the commander... the captain....

Fully indignant at the furthering of this ridiculous conversation, B'Elanna gestured wildly with the padd and regarded her friend. Tom, spit it out. What are you trying to say?

Paris shook his head and leaned into the wall, puzzled. I don't know, B'Elanna. I can't put my finger on it. She just looked so relaxed, like... like....

Harry worked his way around the couple blocking the lift and stepped in. Turning to face them, he finished for Tom, Like she just had really good sex. He had the pleasure of watching their mouths drop in unison before the lift doors shut out the spectacle.

An even more distracted B'Elanna entered Engineering a few moments later. Chakotay was already there, hitting buttons on a recessed computer panel. He turned to look at her, then grinned at the far away expression in her eyes. What happened to you? Did you get lost on the way to Engineering?

Torres jerked her head up. No. Of course not. I was just talking to Tom. So, where are we on this? Has Harry processed his information yet?

A little surprised by the abrupt change in topic, Chakotay returned his attention to the panel. Yes, it just came through. Let's take a look at it. He called up the new data and began a slow perusal through the scrolling numbers and formulae.

Looks good, B'Elanna commented.

Chakotay gave her another look of surprise. You're not going to check it first?

She hesitated, then shook her head. No. Harry knows what he's doing. If we hit a problem, we can give him a call over the comm system.

The tattoo wrinkled on his forehead. This was not the same B'Elanna he'd just seen moments earlier in the briefing. Something upsetting had happened between the Bridge and Engineering to distract the infamous perfectionist. Is there something on your mind, Torres?

Such as? She reached for the pile of reserve data padds she always kept at each computer terminal, but wasn't paying enough attention and dropped it to the deck. Damn. She bent down to retrieve it, then smacked her head on the bottom of the console. Damn! she said again.

B'Elanna -

She pulled away from the console, then stood up, glowering, rubbing her head. What!

Chakotay held up his hands in a peaceful gesture. Calm down, before you do permanent damage to the ship.

She grimaced, then tossed the padd onto the panel and pulled a chair over from another console. I'm fine. I promise not to do anything rash. Let's just get to work.

Chakotay considered pushing the subject, then decided to let it slide. B'Elanna had her ways of working through personal problems, and having somebody poke at her wasn't always a way to facilitate the outcome. At least, not a pleasant one. All right.

They worked in silence, Chakotay occasionally pointing out new commands and possibilities while Torres occasionally grunted her assent to his ideas. Twenty minutes passed quietly.

Then, without looking up, B'Elanna said, So, how goes it?

Chakotay paused to hide his grin. Apparently she had managed to work beyond her previously foul mood. Good. As the captain said, things are running amazingly well.

And you? I haven't seen much of you lately.

I haven't been anywhere special, B'Elanna.

I guess I've just been busy with my own things. What's been happening?

Puzzled, he sat back to take another look at her. He'd known B'Elanna a long time, and not once had he heard her indulge in social chitchat. Maybe she hadn't put aside her mood at all. Maybe she was just digging from a different angle. Humoring her, he said, I finished a new carving the other day. Would you like to see it?

She did look at him this time. I'd like that. I always like your carvings. I'll come by some time today. If I'm real lucky, this one will be for me.

Is that supposed to be a hint?

A big one. Feel free to take it.

That's what I like about you, Torres; you certainly speak your mind. He smiled again and pushed a button.

B'Elanna continued. Tom said he saw you and the captain in the kitchen yesterday. Feeling the need to do a little cooking?

I haven't had many chances to cook lately. It was fun, and besides, I was hungry.

B'Elanna barked a short laugh. What's wrong, isn't Neelix feeding you enough?

No, Chakotay chuckled. That's not the problem. He paused, a padd in his hand, his finger poised over the controls. Cooking is just a way to unwind and still have something to show for my time.

Ah. Torres nodded, played with the panel for a few seconds, then very nonchalantly said, I didn't think the captain knew how to cook.

Now it was Chakotay's turn to snort a laugh. Kathryn doesn't cook - she gets in the way when I cook.

Kathryn?

The word was spoken quietly, and Chakotay's personal alarms buzzed silently in his head. He looked up to find Torres gazing at him, a half puzzled, half accusing look on her face.

Drat, he muttered when he realized what he'd said to cause the Klingon to wear such an unusual expression. He shook his head in apology. Do me a favor and don't tell her I said that. She threatened due punishment if I ever let it slip. He glanced around. Though I'm not on the Bridge, I suppose being on duty still counts.

The expression had gone from puzzled accusation to angry astonishment. Punishment?

Something about the waste receptacles. It sounded extremely uncomfortable at the time, and I prefer not to test her promises too far.

Torres dropped her padd on the console and put her hands on her hips. Are you making this up, Chakotay? Captain Janeway would never do something like that!

Another mood swing from the lieutenant. The chitchat was quickly descending into something far more incomprehensible. Chakotay carefully placed his padd next to B'Elanna's so he could give his entire attention to his friend. He began gently. B'Elanna, a minute ago you were unhappy when I accidentally called her Kathryn. Now you're defending her and calling me a liar. What's going on?

Torres sank back in her chair. A sulk defined her features, and she looked away. He waited. She ran her fingers over the console's edge, and he waited some more. Finally she couldn't stand the silence and his probing gaze. Hesitantly she asked, Can I ask you... Uh, do you promise not to eat me alive if....

Torres, ask.

She jerked up straight in her seat. It's just this relationship thing... I mean, I don't want to see you get hurt. She quickly grabbed her padd and began pounding commands into its tiny panel.

She means the way it was with Seska, he realized. Briefly he wondered if he would ever get passed that one disappointment in his life and be able to look on it without feeling like an idiot. At the same time, he knew that there were no grounds for comparing his affair with Seska to how he felt for Kathryn. He calmly reached out to stop her hand's frantic motions. You're worried about me, as a friend worries over a friend. I'm honored that you care so deeply. But I can honestly say that there is no cause for concern. This time it's very different.

Torres lifted one eyebrow. Different? How can it be any different? How can you be sure...?

B'Elanna, have you ever heard the saying that you'll know when it's love, but you won't know when it isn't?

She nodded suspiciously, not knowing what he was trying to say. Yes.

Chakotay breathed a quiet sigh. Whoever first made that observation must have been very wise. It took me years and many mistakes to understand the difference between love and infatuation. Now I finally know.

But -

B'Elanna, I love Kathryn. That's why it's different. Seska was an affair; Kathryn's my life.

B'Elanna considered this for a moment. She studied him and he let her. One glance told her he was absolutely sincere. Chakotay always had worn his emotions on his face, and judging by his expression, he was positively impassioned. Once again she grew uncomfortable with all the open feelings being passed around and she had to look away. At last she asked, What about the captain? Does she feel the same?

Chakotay's lips lifted in a half grin. Would we even be having this conversation if she didn't?

Torres grimaced. No, I don't suppose we would. She reached for her data padd, but only played with it in her hands.

Chakotay retrieved his padd as well. Feel better?

She hesitantly glanced at him. I do, I guess. And Chakotay?

Yes?

Thanks. Thanks for letting me ask.

He grinned. No problem. That's what friends are for.

Torres sighed quietly. Now at least we should be able to get some work done. What a relief.

Chakotay nodded. His attention turned once more to their assignment, but he watched her discreetly out of the corners of his eyes. When he was certain she had moved back to Harry's calculations, he spoke. Now, what's this I hear about you and Tom Paris?

She dropped her padd again on the console. Chakotay! she bellowed in aggravation.

Chakotay laughed.

Captain Janeway paused in front of the conference room's replicator. Would you like something, Harry?

Harry Kim tore his attention from the wall computer console long enough to consider her offer. Yes, actually, Batrarian tea would be nice.

Janeway's brow lifted at his choice. Batrarian tea. Very elegant. I've never tried it.

I find it soothing when I work; it helps me think. Believe it or not, Neelix got me hooked on it. He drinks it all the time.

That doesn't encourage me to try it, came unbidden to her mind, and she clamped her teeth shut to keep the comment to herself. If Harry liked it, that was no business of hers. She faced the replicator and made her order.

Thank you, Captain. Harry took a sip of the tea steaming in his mug, savored the taste for a moment, then set the drink on the table before turning back to the computer.

Janeway took a drink of her coffee while watching Harry. It's good to see somebody besides me enjoying a beverage so much. I'll have to drink with you more often, Ensign.

Kim smiled. Call me anytime, Captain.

She smiled back. Well, let's see what you've set up so far. She cradled her glass in her hands as Kim went over the progress he'd made on the conduit reconfigurations. She nodded, pleased. Very nice, Mr. Kim. Go ahead and start generating the new matrices. I'll try my hand at extrapolating the possible energy gains we can anticipate if Tuvok's theory works.

A silence descended on the room. It was so quiet that Janeway could hear her own breathing under the beeping of the computer. The conference room was so removed from the working areas of the ship, even the Bridge, that a heavy, dull feeling frequently pervaded it. She fancied it was even a little colder without any other people sitting around the table to add body heat. For solitary work she certainly preferred her ready room, but she didn't have a wall panel with the appropriate relays there.

Harry finished a formula and stepped back while he waited for the computer to do the calculations. He reached for his tea, and noticed that the captain was also at a break in her work. He said, Did you have fun cooking yesterday, Captain?

After a swift drink of coffee, she gave him a mild grimace. Well, we cooked. I'm not sure about the fun part, but the kitchen is still intact, so I guess I can say it was a positive experience.

Harry laughingly protested, But it looked like you were having such a good time. What happened?

Oh, it's difficult to recall all the details... Janeway licked her lips to give herself time to remember. First, I let the vegetables boil over. While I was cleaning that up, my rag caught on fire from Neelix's jury-rigged stove. Without thinking, I threw the burning rag into the pot, which put the fire out before the ship's automatic safety systems activated, but it didn't do much for the vegetables. While Chakotay finished mixing the olisha glaze - or whatever that stuff is called - I cut up more vegetables, then accidentally dumped them into the pot where he'd just started cooking the hair pasta. I fished the vegetables out, taking as much of the pasta as the vegetables, and as I was preparing to clean up my second mess by stacking the cutting boards on top of another one of Neelix's famous heat burners, Chakotay told me to stop and sit down in the far corner before I did any more damage. She looked at him. That about sums it up.

Harry stared at her in amazement. Wow.

Yes, it was an adventure, I'll say that much. You should thank the commander the next time you see him; he surely saved the ship from certain disaster. She let out a deep sigh and gave a bewildered shake of her head. I tried, Harry, I really did. I don't know what it is, but every time I enter a kitchen, something comes over me and the next thing I know, I'm waving burning rags around like a performer at a pyrotechnics display. She laughed softly. Maybe it goes back to my mother cooking real food instead of using the replicator like everybody else's mother. I was so embarrassed my entire childhood that now I can't even go near a kitchen. It's my retribution for being such an awful, ungrateful child.

Harry gave her an uncertain look. I don't think I even want to touch on this one.

Captain Janeway laughed at his discomfort and patted his shoulder. It's all right, Harry. We all have our talents, and should know when to bow out. It's my stubbornness that gets me into trouble so often.

But Harry wasn't so willing to buy Janeway's excuses. He continued to protest, Don't be too hard on yourself, Captain. You just wanted to do something with the commander. I bet you had at least a little bit of fun, even if you were in the kitchen.

Janeway paused. A small, secret smile lifted her lips; it had been fun. Even when Chakotay looked like he was ready to bodily pick her up and remove her from the room, they'd laughed and talked and touched. And she so loved being with him... once the chasm between them had been closed, she couldn't get her fill of him. It's odd to think that doing something I dread was still a good experience. Of course, eating the food was even more fun than preparing it. She noticed suddenly the computer was blinking at her, silently revealing that she could continue her work. She turned back to the panel, and Harry did the same, but she went on, You should have stayed in the mess hall. He made plenty of food, and Chakotay's an excellent cook, despite my rotten assistance. We would have gladly shared.

Harry smiled his thanks at the invitation. I would have liked to stay, but Susan was coming off duty and Tom was getting bored with our game of checkers. He doesn't like to lose.

She glanced at him in speculation. Susan?

Harry Kim blushed. His grin widened. Susan Nicoletti.

Really? she blurted. When had this happened? Janeway had always thought that Harry planned to be loyal to his fianceé Libby until his dying day. Had she been so engrossed in her own personal life that she missed something as revolutionary as this? What...? How...? Still so surprised, she was unable to formulate a coherent question.

About three months ago. It's not even news anymore.

Three months! What had she been doing all this time? How could I be so oblivious for so long?

Kim's smile turned conspiratorial. You've been a little busy yourself lately, he pointed out.

That was becoming painfully obvious. I guess I have, she conceded; it wouldn't do for the captain to admit to complete preoccupation. Well, my congratulations, Ensign.

Thank you, Captain.

How is it going?

Very well, actually. He took a long drink of tea while collecting his thoughts. Then he admitted, It was hard at first. I kept feeling like I was cheating on Libby... which is stupid, I know!

Janeway shook her head in sincere sympathy. It's not stupid at all, Harry. Cutting those last familial ties with home is probably the most difficult act any of us will have to do in this quadrant. It's not to be undertaken lightly. I know my own decision was not an easy one.

What did you do about it? I mean, he quickly added, how did you handle it?

She considered. I lost a lot of sleep.

I bet! But then, you have more things to consider than I do. I'm just an ensign. But I'm glad I finally convinced myself that it was worth the risk to get involved with someone again. I missed that feeling of belonging, the excitement of starting something new, the.... His words grew slower and less confident until finally he stopped to gaze at the floor. With a brow wrinkled in deep thought, he heaved a short breath, then lifted his eyes to stare at her.

Concerned, Janeway stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on his arm. What is it, Harry?

Slowly he started to explain, That's not exactly the truth. Well, it is, but it's not the important part - He chewed on his lip for a minute. I guess what I missed most was being special to someone. It had been so long that I'd forgotten what it felt like.... His voice trailed off and he could only gaze at her.

I know, Harry. Janeway nodded twice. I know exactly what you mean. Surrounded by people, friends even, yet feeling so alone. She took a deep breath, her gaze turned inward now, focused on her own predicament. That kind of pressure is perhaps more debilitating than any other danger we might face here. How we handle it will define the community we create on Voyager. She hooked her hands around her elbows, and it was her turn to lock her gaze on the floor. I want our life here to be a good one... but it's so hard to make that last necessary leap from what is already a good life, albeit one empty of affection, to one more risky but ultimately more fulfilling.

It's the scariest thing I've done yet, Harry reported. I'm a lot happier now, and I'm glad it worked out.

Pulled from her ruminations, she smiled softly. I'm glad too, Harry. For your sake.

I'm also glad that first date is over! Harry smiled to share his relief.

Me too! she agreed emphatically, and they laughed together, dispelling their uncertainties.

Harry felt so relieved that he went on to say, You know, it's just as good to see you and the commander getting along so well. Happiness likes to share. He ducked his head sheepishly. At least, that's what my mom always said. All I know is it sure helps the rest of the crew to see somebody enjoying themselves as much as you do.

Janeway had wondered how much her relationship with Chakotay affected the general morale of the crew. She'd always suspected that it certainly wouldn't do any harm, but she was relieved to have her suspicions confirmed by a member of that crew. Thank you, Harry. You don't know what it means to me to hear that.

I'm glad you're happy, Captain, Harry stated simply.

The captain smiled. I am happy. In many ways, I've been very lucky onboard Voyager. I have an invigorating command, a good ship, an exceptional crew, I'm in love... and I like it!

*Torres to Kim.*

The comm summons took them both by surprise, and they jumped. Harry managed to collect himself enough to answer. Kim here.

*We finished with the initial information you sent. Do you have the new matrices generated yet? What are you two doing up there? We've been waiting for about ten minutes.*

Uh.., Harry stuttered with a guilty glance at the captain. Janeway did her best not to laugh. Harry gathered his wits and in a crisp, authoritative voice, said, We've hit a problem with one of the computations. We'll have that information to you as soon as we can.

*Well, make it fast; we'll be ready. Torres out.*

Janeway's eyebrows were touching her hairline. I think that was a hint to get moving. Ms. Torres was never subtle at hints. She gave him a meaningful look, then once again faced the computer.

She speaks her mind, that's for sure, Harry agreed wryly. If we don't do this fast enough, she'll certainly let us know about it. She might even threaten to come up and do it for us. And she likes us.

Lucky for us she's on our side, commented the captain in humorous overtones, and both officers smiled as they turned back to their work.

Chapter 3 || Contents || Chapter 5