Chapter 3 || Contents || Chapter 5

Kathryn slowly recognized that she was breathing. Her skin felt tight along her stomach, but it didn't hurt anymore. In fact, she felt more relaxed than she ever remembered feeling. Relaxed, cozy, and safe, like she was shrouded in a deep pile of plush blankets. She wasn't ready to push that feeling aside and wake up. She was just too tired. She burrowed deeper into the warmth and oblivion the blanketed feelings promised.

But then she heard something move in the room. Someone stood next to her, someone important. Wasn't there something she was supposed to be doing? A new feeling of necessity had disrupted her cocoon, and suddenly it became almost as easy to wake up as it did to remain asleep.

Next she felt her eyelids move against her eyes. Her eyes were gritty, as if she'd been sleeping a long time. Or had she been crying? Her eyes always crusted shut when she cried in her sleep, though she hadn't cried like that since her Academy days. Her lips lifted up in an attempted smile at the memories.

"Captain."

The voice was a long way away still, coming to her down an empty, dark tunnel that made the sound echo in her head. Tranquilizer, she thought, pinpointing the reason for her sluggishness. She took another breath, enjoying the sensation of her stomach swelling with the intake of air. Kathryn gave one last nuzzle into the warmth, then turned her full attention to waking herself.

It wasn't as easy as she thought. Finding her eyelids was simple, forcing them open was not. She made several attempts, moving her eyes rapidly back and forth in the cloying darkness. But her eyelids were heavy, and resolved to remain shut. Finally she squeezed them shut tighter, then pried them open with all the strength she could summon, using reverse coercion. They fell for the subterfuge, and her eyelids slowly fluttered open.

Focusing was easier. She locked her gaze directly ahead, then let nature take its course. A moment later she discerned the upside down indicator lights blinking above her head. The lights blinked on and off in a regular pattern, and were linked to the same patterns on the bioscanner that arced over her body, obstructing her view of the rest of the room. She was in Sickbay.

She turned her head slightly, just enough for her eyes to roam further afield. She met Chakotay's gaze instantly. He's sitting with me. How nice, she thought in fuzzy good humor. "Hi."

A smile lit his face and creased his eyes in a most endearing way. "Hi yourself," he said. "You're finally awake."

"Against my better judgment," she slurred. He chuckled softly. "How long have I been asleep?"

"You've been unconscious for ten hours. The doctor was beginning to worry that he'd given you too much sedative."

"Oh, I think it was the right amount - I've never felt better," she sighed.

"I'm glad." He looked up, glancing across the room where she couldn't see. He turned back to her. "Wait a minute. Don't go back to sleep." He disappeared, leaving her to contemplate the ceiling. A moment later he was back with a stool that she heard scrape across the floor. He sat, then leaned his elbows onto the edge of her biobed. "Can you still see me?" he asked. She moved her head against the bed and he took that for a yes. Chakotay settled himself comfortably next to her. "Do you know what happened?" he asked after a moment.

The lightness of her mood sobered. "Yes." She was unable to look at him as she remembered her reason for being in Sickbay. She didn't want to remember, and she moved her head to look back at the ceiling. The lights blinked steadily above.

He understood her mood change, and he sat up a little, not wanting to crowd her during her self-retribution. "You gave us a good scare."

"I'm sorry about that," she blurted sleepily.

"Well, don't be too hard on yourself," he advised. "The doctor is in his office, preparing his lecture about a good officer's duty and reporting to Sickbay after Kazon attacks. I think he's writing an entire book on the subject."

"Then by all means, let's leave him in there."

Chakotay laughed again at her dry tone, then quieted. "You knew how everything was going to happen, didn't you?" he inquired gently. When she didn't answer or meet his gaze, he continued. "You knew about the sensors, that the Vidiians were waiting for us, and that more ships planned to ambush us if we escaped. And though you knew of your condition, you postponed going to Sickbay until the ship was safe."

Kathryn took a deep breath. "I had to be certain the ship was out of danger. My own comfort was not important."

"Not important?" he repeated. The commander leaned in closer, his proximity forcing her gaze to encounter his. His sober expression penetrated even her sleepy thoughts. "I don't think you're aware how close you came to dying. The doctor worked for two hours to save your life. The entire crew paced every available space, waiting to hear if they had a captain or not. And you think it wasn't important?" he demanded in restrained anger, trying to keep his voice down so he wouldn't disturb the doctor.

Kathryn felt greatly disturbed that she had upset the crew to such an extent. She felt even worse knowing how she'd worried Chakotay. The last thing she wanted to do was cause him unhappiness. However, he had to understand that she was not exactly in control of the circumstances surrounding her illness. But she didn't have the strength to begin lengthy justifications now. "When I can explain everything, you'll understand why I had no choice."

Chakotay considered her words. His brow furrowed, wrinkling the tattoo over his left eyebrow, but his anger calmed. "I know I will, and I look forward to hearing the story. But I want you to know that I have never been so scared in my life. I would rather face Gul Evek any day than go through last night a second time." He sighed, then leaned back. "Please, don't ever do that again."

He was serious in his demand. She felt compelled to give him some kind of answer. "I'll do my best," she sincerely promised him.

"Good." He rose and paused awkwardly, staring down at her, as if he didn't know what to say. Or as if he did know what to say, but wasn't sure how to say it. She would never know, for he averted his eyes and self-consciously said, "I'll inform the doctor that you're awake."

Chakotay turned away and disappeared from her line of sight. She watched him for as long as she could, thinking about the intensity of his words. He truly had been worried about her. For some reason this fact surprised her. And even more surprising, she discovered how it pleased her that he cared so much.

"Shall I start at the beginning?" the doctor inquired amiably.

Janeway knew his pleasant tone was misleading. He was just waiting for the proper time to blast her from top to bottom for what he considered her recently negligent behavior. She decided she might as well get it over with. She settled herself more securely on the biobed and gripped the edge with her hands. "Go ahead," she gave her permission.

"First," he said and turned his back to her, not even allowing her the dignity of a face to face rebuke. "First, you come to me - no, you are beamed to my Sickbay unconscious and covered in blood. Because of the recent battle, I assumed you had received some form of injury. That only made sense - after all, crewmembers are injured in battle practically every time we turn around on this voyage."

"Please, doctor, get to the point," she encouraged after his sarcastic comment.

"Gladly." He clasped his hands behind his back, forming a wall of offended pride. "The commander and Lieutenant Tuvok informed me that you survived the battle intact and had not seemed the worse for it. So I hypothesized that it was the re-emergence of an old injury, only to discover that your medical records had no mention of a previous injury to the torso area." He trained his gaze on the ceiling, his lips pursed in thought as he re-enacted the moment. "What was I to think? Here was the captain of the ship, lying in a pool of her own blood on one of my diagnostic beds, suffering a severe hemorrhage of her stomach, abdominal muscle, and uterine wall. While attempting to stop the bleeding, I notice what appear to be several small lacerations in the proximity of the wound. Oh, not lacerations precisely, but - perhaps holes is the better term." His voice turned hard.

"Doctor -" Janeway interrupted, thinking she could soften his remonstration and maybe even cut it short.

But he was determined to have his say. He overrode her interruption with ease. "It was then that Commander Chakotay thought to mention the possible link between your current condition and a Kazon attack aimed at you that had occurred the day before." Here he whirled around again to face her, his features arranged in a splendid expression of supreme outrage. Janeway was impressed that his holographic emitters could express so many emotions at once. "A Kazon attack," he continued in righteous indignation, "that somehow went unreported, even though you received several lethal blows before the offender was apprehended. And then, to make matters worse, you chose to ignore procedure, Starfleet procedure," he stressed, knowing her diligence in upholding those regulations, "and neglected to even inform me of the incident. For a captain of a starship, this is a serious breach of protocol."

Janeway blinked, then gave him a bland look. Perhaps if she agreed with him, it might lighten his tirade. Besides, she knew he was right. "Doctor, I assure you that it will not happen again."

"It had better not!" he exclaimed testily, not fooled by her quick agreement. "It is only because of my superior medical expertise that you aren't sitting here dead." Janeway's eyebrows rose, but he misinterpreted her reaction to his words. "If I ever find that you again needlessly endanger yourself for any reason, I will relieve you of command." He glared at her and nodded his head once. "I hope I made myself clear."

She heaved a deep sigh now that he was finished. "Abundantly clear."

"Good." He continued to glare at her, his mouth set in a thin line of irritation. But her obvious contrition was steadily wearing away at his bad humor. "Well, I guess that's all I have to say. Except that you can expect to be sore for several days. After all, I can't solve everything. The fact that you can still conceive children is a miracle in itself. I want you to take it easy for the next week. Get plenty of rest, relax, read a good book. No dancing in the corridors."

"I never dance in the corridors," she assured him, quietly mocking. She eased herself off the biobed, straightened her medical tunic, then stood for a moment to get her feet firmly under her. Though she had walked cautiously around Sickbay with Kes' help a few hours earlier, it took time for her to settle her body into any new positions. That included standing. She experienced a throbbing ache all around her pelvis, but she would not give the doctor the satisfaction of seeing her grimace. To cover her discomfort, she grinned wickedly and said, "I only dance on the Bridge."

He stared at her, suspicious. "Surely you're joking."

She just patted him on the shoulder in response.

Any further comments were cut off by the arrival of Commander Chakotay and Kes.

Kes beamed when she saw Kathryn standing. "You're doing very well, Captain!" she exclaimed. "How are you feeling?"

Janeway gave a small shrug with her shoulder. "Tolerable. But the doctor is throwing me out, so things can only improve." She eyed the doctor mischievously.

"Only if you behave yourself," he warned direly. He turned to Chakotay. "Make sure she doesn't do anything foolish, Commander. I would hate to see her return to Sickbay any time soon. And, I believe, so would she." He turned away and retreated to his office, calling as he went, "Kes, I want you to look at those new clotting agents that I mixed this morning. We'll need some available in case of any more catastrophes." He sent one last acerbic glance in Janeway's direction, then disappeared into the privacy of his office.

Kes, Chakotay, and Janeway looked at each other and laughed. "I think I've put myself on his black list," the captain said.

Kes was quick to come to the doctor's defense. "He doesn't mean it. He's only so unpleasant because he cares so much."

"He has a funny way of showing it," Chakotay commented. He looked at Janeway. "Well, are you ready?"

"To brave the outer corridors?" She smiled playfully. "If it will get me out of here, I'll face anything! Lead the way, Commander."

With a cheerful grin, Chakotay motioned her toward the door.

Slowly they meandered down the corridor, Janeway taking small steps until her muscles warmed and grew used to the activity. The commander matched his pace with hers, his hand unobtrusively raised in case she stumbled. The turbolift was still several minutes away at that unhurried pace.

The corridor began filling the closer they came to the lift. Crewmembers held back and moved aside to give them plenty of room, and they all smiled or looked encouragingly at their captain. Kathryn acknowledged them with her eyes and a small smile, finding it too difficult to maintain her tenuous balance and wave at the same time. Finally she gave a low, self-conscious chuckle. "I didn't know I would have to walk so slow - people are staring."

"Don't flatter yourself. They're staring at me," Chakotay answered readily, and acknowledged Ensign Wildman as she attempted to slip passed.

Janeway choked a laugh. "Perhaps we should go slower then, give you time to appreciate all your admirers."

He grinned. "All right. I suggest we take our time."

"Pretend we're out for a leisurely stroll?"

"Why not? There's no need to hurry. We have all the time in the universe."

At the commander's statement, Janeway paled. She remembered the alternate captain's convictions that she too had all the time she needed. A chill ran up her spine, and she felt sick to her stomach as the recent events flooded back into her consciousness. For several blissful hours she had managed to forget the shiftings, the other Janeways, the terrible tragedy that had befallen the alternate Voyager and her captain. Now Kathryn shuddered at the memories that suddenly came to her mind.

Chakotay, always sensitive to other's emotions, noticed the change in her expression and paused briefly. "What is it?" he asked.

"I don't -" She sighed, unable to explain her thoughts without explaining a great deal more first. "I mean, I'm sorry, Commander. What you said made me think of some - unpleasant memories. And you're wrong, you know." She stopped as they reached the lift and turned to stare up at him. "We don't have all the time in the universe. We never did."

He looked puzzled. "I don't think I follow you. Does this have to do with - whatever happened?" he ended lamely, not knowing what more to say.

She waved his confusion aside, suddenly feeling the need to hurry. "Yes." Her tone turned brusque as she came to a decision and continued, "I want you to call the senior staff together at nineteen hundred. I think it's time I gave you all an explanation for my recent behavior."

He noticed the stubborn set to her jaw, and could practically sense her decision to ignore the doctor's orders. But telling her not to do something was a sure way to make her more determined than ever. Still he felt he should try to dissuade her from partaking in too much activity so soon after her accident. He proceeded with carefully chosen words. "Nineteen hundred is only an hour from now. Are you sure you don't want to rest first?"

She shook her head and entered the lift ahead of him. "No. I feel fine." She was able to bite her lip to avoid any outward indication to a sudden cramp, and she kept her face averted so he wouldn't see.

However, Chakotay wasn't going to cave in quite so easily. He tried a more direct approach. "But the doctor said...."

"I know what the doctor said, Commander," she said in sudden irritation. She immediately regretted her tone, but she didn't have time to be mothered, not by the doctor or her first officer, no matter how much she might appreciate the sentiment. "Sitting in a meeting can hardly be considered extreme exertion. Please, call them to the conference room in one hour," she requested, though there was little doubt that in truth it was a command.

For a moment he just turned and watched her. He noticed the dark smudges under her eyes, the pale cast to her face, and he knew she was making a mistake. He didn't like being ordered to do something he didn't agree with, especially if the captain's health was in question. But Chakotay was not a stupid man. In a command situation, his personal wishes were not a consideration. He had to obey. Although he didn't have to be happy about it. "Aye, Captain," he replied curtly, forced to rely on his tone to adequately convey his disapproval.

Janeway nodded at his words, and noted the words that went unsaid. But she didn't change the order, and she said nothing more. The rest of the ride in the lift was tense with a heavy uncomfortable silence.

Captain Janeway suppressed a tired sigh and looked at each of her officers in turn. "I believe you know the rest of the story," she said. "The Vidiians were waiting for us, just as my counterpart had warned. Thanks to her, we avoided becoming their latest organ donors." She drew in a deep breath, thoughtfully held it to give her crew time to mull over the implications of her words. She swiveled slowly in her chair at the head of the oval table, then let the air silently hiss out between her teeth as she stared at the stars that floated outside the conference room windows. She welcomed the deep blackness of space and the warm pinpricks of light, even in their unfamiliar patterns. They lulled her with a sense of security that she found extremely comforting. She wished she could simply loose herself in that hypnotic pattern, but her desire to find the answers to the enigmatic shiftings was stronger than her wish.

"However," she continued, though her eyes were still trained on the stars, "I don't have any explanation for what happened."

"Maybe it was a dream," Kes suggested first. "I've heard of this kind of thing happening to Ocampans before - I might dream of some dangerous upcoming event in time to avoid it, almost as if my own subconscious was warning me about it."

Janeway considered that, but had to disagree. "If it was a dream, Kes, it was the most realistic and detailed one I've ever had." She squirmed in her chair, crossing her legs, trying to get comfortable before going on. "I'm not willing to concede to my subconscious until we've ruled out all other possibilities first."

"Was it a time travel phenomenon? A temporal flux of some kind?" asked Harry Kim, eager to contribute to the flow of ideas.

"No." Janeway swiftly negated. "I felt no indications of a temporal disturbance during or after the shift, though I would suggest that Miss Torres look over the doctor's medical logs, just to be sure."

Torres nodded, accepting the suggestion. "I'll take a look as soon as we're done here, but I'm sure the doctor would have said something if he'd found anything unusual."

Paris snorted and snuck a glance at B'Elanna. "More unusual than a profusely bleeding captain? It's just too bad this other captain didn't warn us a little sooner - we could have avoided more than just the Vidiians."

Kes and Neelix both gave simultaneous nods. Janeway preferred to leave her recent medical problems out of the discussion, and thus forgo all the looks of sympathy that showed around the table, but she couldn't deny the definite link the hemorrhage played in the event's ultimate timing. "The warning was in plenty of time, according to the captain's universe, Mr. Paris. Unfortunately, the alternate universes are all full of inconsistencies."

Commander Chakotay filled in, "As if the differences give each universe its own particular individuality."

"Yes," Janeway continued. "Events were the same, but in some cases the details were... skewed," she said, fishing for the right word. "In their universe three Vidiian ships attacked them, in ours, there were four. She fainted in her ready room, I - um - well, on the Bridge. They lost a valued officer and friend. We, fortunately, did not." Her eyes rested gratefully on Lieutenant Tuvok.

The Vulcan gave her a nod, then steepled his fingers, choosing to move the conversation away from the apparent sparing of his life. "It's curious," he said, "that so many discrepancies occur. I suspect that by partaking in this exchange of information, the alternate Captain Janeways are in effect changing the course of events in each subsequent universe." He turned to look at Janeway. "Knowing how you feel about polluting the timelines, I am greatly surprised that you would involve yourself repeatedly in such an endeavor."

Janeway regarded her Tactical officer. "I won't excuse my actions, Mr. Tuvok, and my policies regarding timelines are unchanged." She shrugged. "I guess the information was simply too tempting to ignore, even for me. But, as they say, the damage is done. What I want to focus on now is discovering what's behind the shifts. If we do that, we have a good chance of stopping them. I don't like being responsible for the lives in alternate universes any more than Mr. Tuvok suggests."

Neelix chimed in, "I've never heard any reports of worm holes or temporal time fluxes in this area. The nebula isn't on the more popular trading routes." He glanced around the table at the officers staring at him. "Of course," he added enthusiastically, "if there is something to find, I'm sure we'll discover it. We always do!" He choked back his laughter when Chakotay glared at him in annoyance.

Harry spoke up. "What if it isn't like that at all? I mean, can we assume it's the same agent in each universe, or is it a freak accident every time it happens?"

B'Elanna was already shaking her head. "It would have to be the same thing each time. The chance of that kind of a freak accident occurring with such regularity is practically nonexistent."

"So then we have to find what it is that can catapult people across sub-spatial distances, and that is likely to be present in every typical universe." Harry clenched his hands into fists and racked his brain to come up with a plausible answer.

Janeway watched him with a fond smile. He was working so hard she could almost see the wheels turning in his mind. "I'm afraid it won't be that simple. I think the answers lie somewhere near the nebula. We need to go back."

Chakotay immediately objected. "It's possible the Vidiians are still there, waiting to catch more ships unaware. Would it be wise to return so soon?"

"I've thought of that, Commander," the captain said, "and I don't want to go into a possibly dangerous zone before the long range sensors are operational at any rate. We'll give the Vidiians a chance to clear out of the area while Mr. Tuvok works on the sensor problem. In the meantime, Ensign Kim, I want you to go over our sensor logs with a fine toothed comb, see what you can dig up. If there was some kind of an anomaly, even so much as a shadow of one, I want to know about it."

"Yes, ma'am," Harry replied crisply.

Crunch time, the captain thought in a moment of grim amusement. "Mr. Paris, we won't be going anywhere for awhile - do a double check on those sensor logs from Engineering." She saw him nod, and turned to Torres. "B'Elanna, what's the status on the realignment of the warp coils?"

Lieutenant Torres settled smugly back in her chair. "Finished yesterday, Captain. We should have no trouble with the warp engines."

Janeway was pleasantly surprised to hear that. I'm out of commission for a little while and I miss all the fun, she thought. For a moment she felt uncomfortably expendable. But she only said, "Excellent. Prepare for warp on my signal."

"We'll be ready."

"Good. Well, that's all that we can do at this point. I want steady reports - "

"Captain, if I may?"

They all turned to face Chakotay. Janeway glanced up inquiringly at the interruption. "Yes, Commander?"

The commander carefully pressed, "I was wondering what you planned to do if we find the cause of the shifts."

Janeway wrapped the fingers of her right hand in a fist as she carefully considered her reply. For some reason, she felt that Chakotay was resisting this mission, had resisted it from the very moment she had called this present meeting of the senior staff. It was possible he only felt concerned about her health and wanted to protect her from her own rash impulses in this matter. All for her own good, he would insist. It was true she harbored strong emotional connections to her visit with the other ship - anybody confronting themselves and a tragedy of loosing a friend would. And she also had to admit that her emotions were still raw at this point. But she knew that she could not let those emotions take control of her better judgment.

Yet these reasons might have nothing to do with Chakotay's agenda at all. If he had some hidden motives behind his curiosity, she didn't know what they were, and for once she didn't feel like she could ask him his thoughts. Not yet. If she did, she might risk a recurrence of the tension they'd experienced in the turbolift, and one thing she didn't have the energy for was a disagreement with her first officer.

All this went swiftly through her mind. She stared at the table to give herself time to formulate an answer, and her eyebrows rose in thought. "My decisions depend entirely on what we find," she began casually. "If it's some kind of anomaly, perhaps we'll be able to influence its behavior in some way. If it's artificial, maybe we can reprogram it." She paused to let her gaze drift around the room, from officer to officer, and her eyes narrowed as she continued. "But I do want to be clear on one thing. Whatever the cause, I want to find it. The shifting has to stop. I do not appreciate being used and manipulated, nor do I want this ship to remain at the whim of unexplainable forces. I want the play to end here." She stabbed her finger at the table to punctuate her last statement. "Understood?"

They all nodded, and a few choruses of "Yes, Captain," sounded around the room.

Satisfied, Janeway relaxed her aggressive posture. "Very well. Dismissed." She turned her chair towards the window again, ostensibly to look at the stars. It also made it conveniently impossible for her to meet Chakotay's parting glance in her direction. Coward, she thought ruefully to herself.

B'Elanna Torres strode briskly down the corridor, heading for Sickbay with typical single-mindedness. She instinctively dodged crewmembers paused in the corridors to talk, while at the same time made mental notes of the projects currently underway in Engineering. If the captain ordered the ship back to the nebula, Voyager needed to be prepared for another altercation with the Vidiians. The engines would have to be double checked for any possibly unannounced repercussions from the previous attack, extra diagnostics should be scheduled, and power would have to be at maximum efficiency on all levels. That meant the Engineering crew presently off duty would have to be reassigned to double shifts in order to handle the added work. It also meant temporarily tabling her photon torpedo project unless she could convince the captain to risk the time needed to collect....

"Lieutenant Torres!"

The call interrupted B'Elanna's meditation and she paused to turn around.

Kes hurried up to meet her. "Lieutenant. I have a question, if you don't mind the interruption?"

Torres cocked her head. Kes had never come to her with questions before. She attempted to push aside her thoughts of Engineering and said, "Sure. Go ahead."

"Are you going to Sickbay?" she asked.

Torres blinked. "That was your question?" she inquired in bemusement.

After a startled look, Kes suddenly laughed. "No! I'm sorry, I just meant that I would walk you there - I'm on duty in Sickbay now."

B'Elanna found herself smiling at the small Ocompan. The girl certainly was engaging when she smiled, B'Elanna had to admit. It was no wonder the captain liked her so much. "Sure. Walk with me," she invited.

Kes fell into step with the engineer. "My question is about what you're going to look for in the medical logs. I admit, I don't know what you expect to find."

Torres shrugged. "I'm not sure either. If there is something to find, I hope I'll recognize it when I see it."

Kes glanced at B'Elanna, puzzled. "But I don't understand why the captain asked you to go over the logs again. The doctor has already done several analyses of the captain's records."

"Ah," the lieutenant said, one finger extended to arrest the younger woman's attention. "But I'm an engineer, not a doctor. I might find something completely different in the records that the doctor isn't trained to identify."

Kes slowed in her walk, her attention turned inward as she considered Torres' words. "So the captain suspects you might discover some substance left over from her shift to the alternate universe?"

Lieutenant Torres nodded. "Exactly."

Kes nodded. "I see. Do you have any ideas what it might be?"

B'Elanna deliberated the possibilities. "Well, I guess it could be any number of things. Take for instance the oxygen. Perhaps the alternate universe has slightly different levels of nitrogen/oxygen combinations. A trace of that could have stayed in the captain's system after her shift back and the doctor would have picked it up with his tricorder scans."

They came to a stop in the corridor to make way for a large group of passing crewmembers. Kes unconsciously rubbed the bridge of her nose in thought. "I think I understand. I haven't had much experience with nonmedical searches," she admitted. "But I would love to learn. Would you mind if I watched?"

"Not at all," Torres answered, pleased at the Ocampan's interest. She could never quite resist anybody interested in engineering, even a peripheral application such as a log analysis. "The captain always says two pairs of eyes are better than one."

"Oh. Of course. That's why she asked Tom to double check the sensor logs with Harry." Kes smiled apologetically at B'Elanna. "I suppose I should have realized that. But I still have trouble understanding all the captain's orders. I guess it's because I don't have very much experience with the other departments besides Sickbay. There is so much to learn."

Torres gave Kes an encouraging pat on her shoulder before resuming their walk. "Don't let it bother you. It takes some people years to fully internalize the intricacies of commanding a Starfleet vessel. Why else do you think they make the cadets stay at the Academy for so long?" she commented, then laughed.

Kes laughed with her. "I hadn't thought of it that way. I guess my studies are right on schedule then."

"Or you're at the right level of total confusion, at any rate," Torres informed with a smile.

They arrived at Sickbay then. The doors had barely shut behind them when Torres briskly turned her attention to the task set for her. "Computer, activate emergency hologr -"

"I'm already on," came the edgy response from the direction of the doctor's office. "Is there some new kind of emergency?"

"Uh, no," B'Elanna answered, following the voice until she located the doctor sitting at his desk, his eyes staring raptly at his computer terminal. "No emergency. I just need your authorization to take a look at the captain's medical records."

Without glancing up, the doctor retorted, "Medical records are classified."

B'Elanna calmly stood before his desk, determined not to loose her temper. "I know that, Doctor. That's why I need your authorization. The captain asked that we - "

He did glance up this time, but only to glare at the lieutenant. "The captain? Surely she's resting and isn't asking anybody to do anything. You must be confused about your orders." He dismissed her with a wave and went back to his research.

Torres sighed, her hands on her hips. "Computer," she commanded, "replay staff meeting minutes starting at 19:10. Display on the chief medical hologram's terminal."

The doctor's data was replaced by a scene of the conference room and the recent staff meeting where Captain Janeway clearly requested that Lieutenant Torres work with the doctor on her personal medical records. "There. You see?" Torres demanded. "Now can we please get to work? I doubt the captain wants to wait forever for my report."

The doctor sat in his chair, stunned. His surprise quickly coalesced into severe irritation. He gestured at his terminal, as if it was at fault. "But this is outrageous! I gave Captain Janeway strict orders to rest and relax for at least a week. And there she is, flouting my authority in front of the entire crew less than an hour after I released her from Sickbay!" He looked up at Kes and B'Elanna. "That woman is an impossible patient!"

B'Elanna lifted an eyebrow. "She's going to be even more impossible if you don't help me with the medical logs."

"No," the doctor firmly stated. "I want to know what she's doing."

"Doctor," B'Elanna said, her own irritation edging close to a dangerously high level, "this is an order from the captain, not a request. Please, your authorization."

The doctor fairly bristled with disapproval, but he followed Torres and Kes out to Sickbay's main room and obligingly called up the medical records of Kathryn Janeway on the research terminal. "I hope that satisfies you," he said testily. "Now, suppose you tell me what the captain is up to."

Torres shrugged absentmindedly, her attention already buried in the data on the screen. "I'll know more about that if I find something in these logs." She quietly processed the logs, the doctor and Kes watching over her shoulders.

Looking at such personal medical transcripts gave Torres an uncomfortable feeling of eavesdropping, akin to going through another person's closet. It was intrusive. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the captain's blood type or her average daily body temperature. But when she reached the most recent log entries dealing with Janeway's collapse on the Bridge, B'Elanna stopped to stare in dismay at the information. "I had no idea her injuries were so extensive," she murmured. "I mean, I heard rumors, and Tom and Harry filled me in a little since they were on the Bridge when... but I didn't think...." She trailed off, her eyes on the doctor.

The doctor raised his eyebrow in exact duplication of the lieutenant's earlier expression. He chose not to voice his obvious thoughts.

In response to the unvoiced opinion, Torres hastily composed herself and ordered a display of chemicals found in the captain's body upon her arrival in Sickbay. A detailed list appeared and she leaned in closer to the terminal.

"Did you find something?" Kes asked hopefully, trying to peer around B'Elanna's shoulder.

"Not yet," Torres answered slowly.

The doctor stepped back and crossed his arms. "Why is it that the captain can't let herself heal like a normal humanoid?" he inquired. "I don't know what she expects to do with any of this information anyway. It's nothing she doesn't know already. Hemorrhage, extreme loss of blood, lacerations, tissue and muscle damage...."

"Wait a minute!" Torres exclaimed suddenly. "Computer, repeat last sequence." She paused. "No, go back one more. There." B'Elanna leaned in even closer. "What the hell is going on here?"

"What is it?" Kes asked in excitement.

Unwilling to stop staring at the data long enough to answer the Ocompan's query, Lieutenant Torres only said, "The captain definitely needs to take a look at this."

The doctor suddenly unfolded his arms. He grunted once. "I doubt that very much. She doesn't need anything but rest. And I'll see that she gets it even if I have to personally strap her down to a diagnostic bed!" With that vengeful threat, he whirled and retreated into his office, a figure of barely suppressed indignation.

Torres and Kes looked at each other and Kes shrugged once. B'Elanna just shook her head and reached for her combadge.

Captain Janeway continued to stare out the conference room windows until she was certain the last officer had left the meeting. Then she slowly expelled a breath she didn't know she was holding. In the next minute she had physically wilted into her chair. She felt awful. Her skin was clammy, and her uniform, always a snug fit, stretched like a vise across her stomach. Now she understood why the other captain had been wearing her robe so loosely - anything too tight was agony, plain and simple. The medical tunic she'd worn in Sickbay was far more comfortable than what Starfleet considered respectable attire for a staff meeting. Yet, here she was, wearing her uniform like a stubborn cadet, forced by her pride to maintain appearances despite her own best interests. The Janeway pride, she recalled the other captain saying.

Suddenly Kathryn was besieged by doubt. The alternate captain had said pride was her downfall; she had been so sure of her methods of tackling the shifting dilemma that she had gambled too long and lost. What if her techniques in this universe were equally as superfluous? And what would she do if she was in truth taking her ship into bigger dangers than they'd already faced? Could she live with herself if something unforeseen happened?

She shook her head, forcing the ideas to scatter. This train of thought would get her nowhere. It wasn't like her to indulge in self doubt. Since coming to the Delta Quadrant, she'd found it best to always look forward, to solve the next problem that presented itself, to jump the next hurdle rather than remain paralyzed by the game of "what if." With an amount of caution and good sense, she felt they had survived quite well in the alien space they found themselves in. This particular experience was no different. She had an exceptional crew; they would come out of this new dilemma unscathed and wiser to the idiosyncrasies of the Delta Quadrant.

Besides, she had more immediate problems to overcome, the least of which was getting off the Bridge without looking like a complete idiot. She would have to practice walking first before venturing beyond the conference room doors.

Janeway swung the chair around again until she could grip the table edge, then with a grunt heaved herself up. She held onto the table until her knuckles turned white, but her muscles slowly loosened so that she could stand upright. Finally she took a tentative step forward, amazed at how her body had tightened up in so short a time. Her muscles rebelled painfully for a moment. Her gate was unsteady, and she used the backs of the tall chairs for support, but she forced herself to walk once around the entire table. That table had never seemed so big.

By the time she reached her chair near the windows again, sweat beaded her forehead and tears pricked her eyes. Sheer determination kept her from sitting down and calling for help. Well, the captain was right about one thing, she considered with a twisted smile. It certainly does hurt!

*Torres to the captain.*

Janeway's head jerked up, surprised out of her concentration by the disembodied hail. "Janeway here." She winced at the catch in her voice.

There was a pause, then B'Elanna hesitantly inquired, *Are you all right, Captain?*

Damn. Why did her crew have to be so acute? The captain cleared her throat. "I'm fine. Just getting some exercise. What do you have for me?"

Janeway's official tone prompted Lieutenant Torres to continue with her report. *The doctor and I went over his medical logs and we found something - interesting."

The captain felt a prickle of apprehension slide down her spine. "Interesting how?"

Torres paused again, then said, *It would be easier to show you, Captain. Do you have time now?*

"Yes, Lieutenant," she answered. But then she added, "Just give me five minutes. I'll meet you in my ready room. Janeway out."

She hoped five minutes was enough.

Commander Chakotay sat forward on the edge of his chair, resisting a powerful temptation to look over his left shoulder at the conference room door.

Captain Janeway hadn't come out yet. What was she doing in there, he wondered. Chakotay rubbed his chin with his fingers and stared grimly straight ahead. The forward viewscreen showed a spattering of congenial star formations, but he was hardly aware of them. Every nerve in his body extended backwards, listening for the swoosh of the door. Or a call for assistance. But it was only complete silence that greeted his efforts, and that unnerved him more than anything.

He stood up to stroll across the command level, attempting to shake out some of his nervous energy. After several times around the upper level and back down, he ended up standing behind Harry Kim, watching over the ensign's shoulder as the log readings scrolled by. Harry's fingers absently played with the controls on his panel, marking certain data for a later review. At last he stopped to glance curiously at Chakotay.

"Uh - can I do something for you, Commander?" he asked, puzzled.

But Chakotay was surreptitiously watching the conference room door from the corners of his eyes, and Harry's question caught him off guard. "What? Oh, no. Just taking a look." He forced his concentration back to his behavior. He clasped his hands behind his back in one of his imposing command postures and asked, "Have you found anything yet?"

Harry shook his head. "No. So far, they're pretty typical scanner readings. I'll let -"

He broke off as the conference room door finally swished aside. Both the ensign and the commander simultaneously turned their heads in that direction.

Captain Janeway came out and crossed in front of Ops without pausing for a report. The two men watched her progress across the Bridge until she halted next to Lieutenant Tuvok. They had a brief conversation, made up of queries on her part and a stream of information on his. The Vulcan pointed to his panel once, and the captain leaned in for a closer look. She reached out to adjust an instrument, and her face blanched suddenly. Tuvok caught her arm, but she gently shook off his gesture of support. With a thin smile concealing a grimace the two men could see even from across the Bridge, she turned away. Instead of heading for the turbolift, as Chakotay expected, she carefully navigated her way around the Tactical station and on in to her ready room.

Kim looked warily at Chakotay. The commander glanced at Kim.

"Did you see that?" Harry asked, his voice low so that nobody might overhear.

"See what?" Chakotay asked rhetorically. "The pale face, the tight concentration, the obvious pain?"

"I think she's over doing it," Harry ventured to say.

"I think you're right," Chakotay calmly agreed. "I also think we'll have a hard time persuading her to stop." He drummed his fingers on the smooth top of Harry's panel, his gaze now locked on the closed ready room door.

Then Lieutenant Torres burst out of the lift, and her eyes never once wavered from her destination to greet her crewmates. She swung down the steps and into the captain's ready room without a backwards glance.

Now what's going on? Chakotay wondered. He hated feeling like he needed to spy on Captain Janeway; it left a bad taste in his mouth just thinking of what she might say to him if she discovered what he was doing. In fact, he thoroughly wished he could trust her to take proper care of herself. But he knew her better than that. She had that glint in her eye that meant she planned to do everything she could to change the universe in her favor. But he wondered if she had enough energy at this point to do what she felt needed to be done.

*Sickbay to the Bridge.*

The doctor's voice interrupted the commander's dark thoughts. He was grateful for the distraction. "Chakotay here. What is it, doctor?"

The doctor's voice came across the comm channel in its usual tone; extreme irritation. *I'd like to speak with you for a moment. In private, if possible.*

"One moment, doctor." He sent one last glance at the ready room, and deep down inside, unpleasant instincts started rumbling for attention. Chakotay rubbed his jaw hard with his hand. "I have a very bad feeling about this," he said to Mr. Kim, then turned towards the promised privacy of the conference room.

A deep frown etched itself across Harry's forehead. Kim always felt slightly uncomfortable when trouble brewed among the commanding officers, and he especially disliked it if the commander and the captain were involved. Though they all worked together very well, both Chakotay and Janeway could be particularly stubborn, and he preferred to be out of the way before the sparks started flying.

Looking for reassurance, Harry glanced down to the lower level, momentarily forgetting that Tom Paris was temporarily assigned to Engineering. His eyes rested only on Crewman Bertelli's back. He sighed his disappointment.

"Ensign Kim," Lieutenant Tuvok said from across the Bridge. "Have you finished with the sensor report the captain requested?"

Harry quickly turned his attention back to his panel. "I'm on it, Sir."

"Very well." The Vulcan sent one last questing look in Kim's direction, then his eyes fell to his own panel. He knew that a few words was the only nudge Kim needed to again focus on his job.

Quiet returned to the Bridge. Harry heard only the occasional beeps from the computer consoles as everybody went about their assigned duties. The ensign soon lost himself in the sensor logs again.

More data passed by on the Ops screen. Not finding anything of use, he increased the computer's speed until he reached the present stardate and shift time. Then he turned his attention to personnel data logs, and was immediately rewarded for his diligence. "That's interesting," he muttered. He rechecked his information twice before deciding to contact the captain. He touched his combadge.

*Yes, Mr. Kim, what is it?* Janeway responded to his request.

"I found something that you might like to see."

*Come on in,* she returned in a controlled, even voice.

Harry Kim grabbed a data padd with his information stored in it and immediately crossed to the captain's ready room. He found B'Elanna Torres standing before the captain's desk, one hand propped on her hip as she leaned over the desk to manipulate Janeway's personal monitor. She was saying, "I just don't get it, Captain," when Harry moved to stand with her before Captain Janeway.

The first thing Harry noticed was her eyes. He'd never seen a blue so deep before. Then he noticed her drawn face, and the reason for the brilliant color in her eyes was obvious. Captain Janeway was paler than anybody who wasn't in Sickbay had a right to be. The dark smudges under her lashes were twice as big as during the staff meeting. She almost looked translucent. He thought a good wind might blow her right over.

Janeway looked up from the monitor. "What have you got, Harry?"

Before Harry could say anything to either Torres or the captain, the door slid aside again to admit Commander Chakotay, adding his uninvited presence to the room. Harry immediately wondered what the doctor had said to the commander to cause him to wear such a morbid expression, but he restrained his desire to ask. The commander stood at a respectful distance from the captain's desk, letting her know that his business could wait until she finished with Torres and Kim.

Nevertheless, Janeway saw the expression of alarm that crossed his features when he first looked at her, and she was aware of his gaze burning into the top of her head. She must look worse than she suspected. Kathryn chose to ignore Chakotay's disapproving stare in favor of hearing Harry Kim's report. "Ensign?" she prodded.

Harry Kim jerked to life. "Just this, Captain," he said, and twisted the data padd in his hands. He started to explain. "I didn't find anything abnormal in the sensor logs. If we passed near an anomaly of some kind, it was either too small for our sensors to pick up, or too far out of range. But then on a hunch I went through the personnel logs, just to see if everybody on board was accounted for by the computer during the time you claimed to be in the alternate universe. And I found this." He handed the data padd to her so she could look at it herself. "For thirty-one minutes, between 22:35 and 23:06, you were not on board Voyager."

Janeway's eyes widened a little, and she sat up, only to lean her elbows on the desk when her muscles protested. She gazed at the data. "Well, now at least I know it wasn't a dream," she said softly. She looked up to find the commander standing at the corner of her desk and she passed the data padd on to him. He scrutinized it thoughtfully, then handed it back to Harry without a word.

"That clinches it," B'Elanna said bluntly. "You definitely went somewhere, Captain. I just wish we knew where."

Captain Janeway propped her chin on her hand. "Lieutenant Torres was just showing me...." She stopped as yet another muscle cramp plagued her. She had to force herself to relax before she could continue. "....showing me what she found in the medical logs."

"We found traces of neutrinos in the captain's early tricorder scans," Torres announced to Chakotay. "They decreased in the doctor's subsequent scans, then disappeared about an hour after she arrived in Sickbay."

Chakotay's brow crinkled. "Neutrinos? But that's an indication of warp capabilities." He stared at B'Elanna, who only stared back. "Can you explain this?" he asked.

Torres shrugged and returned her hand to her hip. "No. Not unless the captain went sleepwalking through the warp containment field and nobody in Engineering noticed," she answered with unmistakable sarcasm. "The doctor doesn't understand it either. He wasn't even aware that neutrinos could commingle with human body tissue." Then she sighed heavily and unconsciously rubbed at the ridges on her forehead. "I'm sorry; we're not any closer to solving this puzzle than we were an hour ago."

A heavy silence invaded the room at that announcement. Torres' attitude was infectious. The captain hung her head, unable to combat her own feelings of frustrated helplessness any longer. Though only a few hours had passed since her release from Sickbay, she was extremely tired. She ached in every joint, and felt alternately hot and cold. It was getting harder to concentrate. All she wanted to do was lay her head down on her desk and go to sleep. But a display of such frailty in front of her officers was particularly distasteful to her.

She attempted to rally one last time, determined not to let her infirmities slow her down. "Mr. Tuvok has finished with the sensor repairs. I think it's time -"

"Captain," Chakotay intervened, "I'd like to talk, if we can, before you make any decisions."

Her eyebrow rose a fraction. Did she detect a warning in his tone? "Certainly, Commander," she acquiesced cautiously.

Chakotay nodded his thanks, and turned to Torres and Kim. "Can you excuse us, please?"

If that wasn't an order to vacate the room, Harry Kim wasn't an ensign. He glanced at B'Elanna, and she instantly turned to the door. The two hastily retreated to the relative safety of the Bridge.

Janeway took a second look at her first officer's serious expression and wished she could follow them. Although she wasn't sure she could walk that far. "What is it, Commander?" She almost managed to disguise her weariness behind an especially commanding tone.

Chakotay stared at her, and a crease appeared between his brows. "Captain, they're gone. You can stop pretending," he announced suddenly. He crossed the room to a storage cabinet built into the wall. There he extracted a tricorder from among several instruments and quickly recalibrated it to perform medical scans. The commander slowly scanned her from head to toe, intently watching the readings as she watched him with equal intensity. Finally he snapped the instrument shut. He regarded her soberly. "Your heart rate is accelerated, you have a fever, I detected a decrease in your blood sugar level, and you look terrible," he accused. "Now do you mind telling me what the hell you think you're doing?"

She gaped at him, momentarily stunned out of her exhaustion. "I beg your pardon," she began, a threatening tinge overlaying an already icy tone.

"Captain," he said patiently, as if he were addressing a misbehaving child, "you need to rest. I remind you that you can hardly be an effective officer if you don't take care of yourself first."

Slowly, with a heavy reign on her temper, she carefully explained, "Commander, by my calculations I have approximately twenty-four hours to figure out how to stop these shifts before the next one occurs. I don't have time to humor a simple injury."

One thing Chakotay hated about Kathryn Janeway was that she always thought she had to be a martyr. He impatiently tossed the tricorder on her desk with an angry flick of his wrist. "Listen to yourself," he suggested sharply. "If any other member of this crew was in your condition, you wouldn't hesitate to order rest and light duty. Yet for some mysterious reason you think you're different. You do have a responsibility to yourself as well as to this crew."

She sat up stiffly in her chair. "Don't lecture me, Chakotay! Neither you nor anyone else needs to remind me of my responsibilities!"

"I think I do," Chakotay said, knowing that he took his life in his hands when he said it. He was so unnerved by her haggard appearance that he was willing to say almost anything if she would only listen. "Somehow this mission has become an obsession for you."

"Trying to discover the cause for these shifts is hardly an obsession, Commander," she disputed.

"It is if you keep driving yourself to resolve a situation that may not have a solution."

"Every problem has a solution, every disease has a cure," she snapped. "As captain, as a scientist, and as a human, I can't simply sit back and let the universe at large use this ship, randomly murdering its crew for-"

"Being heedless of your own health is not an indication of a good captain," he argued, cutting her off.

"What would you have me do, Chakotay?" she relentlessly continued. "Here's a chance to affect a change in the machinations of this quadrant and you want me to give it up because it's not a convenient time?"

He harshly pointed out, "This is not a personal crusade!" He gave an exasperated sigh, then in a quieter voice persuasively continued, "Maybe the shifts are supposed to happen this way. Maybe you just need to let it go...."

"I can't just let it go!" she retorted in a fierce, rasping whisper. She clenched her hands into fists and pinned him down with her gaze. "I need to stop this now! You have to understand that!"

Chakotay shook his head. "No, I don't understand." He leaned on her desk, palms down, and glared at her. "Perhaps you can explain to me how it's right that you should order the ship back into Vidiian occupied space to search for a worm hole or a temporal flux that may or may not exist. Or please tell me how running yourself into sever exhaustion can help this crew find their way home."

"I don't want what happened on the other Voyager to happen again, not if I can help it," Janeway stated, appealing to his sympathetic nature. "You didn't see her, Chakotay! You didn't see her suffering, can't conceive of her inner torment."

He agreed calmly, "You're right, I didn't see her. But I can see you." Though he still leaned on her desk, his posture shifted to exude a subtly threatening overtone. "I can see your fatigue, your pain. I know that you feel personally accountable for solving this twist of the universe, and that you consider any ensuing illness on your part an acceptable risk if you can just find the cause of these shifts. But I'm not willing to find that acceptable. And I tell you now that if you order this ship back to the nebula, I will inform the doctor that you are unfit for duty and instruct him to relieve you of command."

At first Janeway was too stunned to react. Was he serious? This kind of personal manipulation was a side of Chakotay that she had never experienced before. She had no doubt that he would carry out his threat; one look at his face was all she needed to be convinced of that. But she was still the captain, and she had an extreme dislike for being bullied. Janeway sat forward, meeting his challenge. Her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. "You wouldn't dare."

"I would," he promised. "If you continue in this manner, I am willing to do anything in my power to keep your sense of duty from killing you."

Janeway rose slowly to her feet, dredging the last of her energy reserves to stare at him in contemptuous fury. "Get out," she ordered.

"No," he refused. "This is too important. You can demote me to crewman, abandon me on the next convenient planet - whatever penalty you think I deserve. But I want to help you. Please, Kathryn, don't shut me out."

Don't be a fool, whispered her mind in sudden ghostly accompaniment, like I was.

The captain's breath caught in her throat at the familiarity of those words. Her eyes widened in surprised realization. Her gaze darted around the room as the idea took hold in her mind, connecting with other partial theories and half remembered warnings. Finally she understood.

As her entire body suddenly went numb, Kathryn could only stare dumbly at Chakotay. "That's what she meant," she mumbled in astonishment.

Lieutenant Tuvok glanced up from his controls to take in the two empty command chairs at the center of the Bridge. Then he secretly darted a look at the ready room where the captain and Chakotay had been locked in conference for the last hour. The doors remained firmly shut.

An aura of tense silence hung over the Bridge. As with other occasions of strife between Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay, the Bridge crew were walking on tip toes and talking in whispers, and then only when they were forced to speak at all. As if that will influence the outcome, the Vulcan mused. Though Voyager's commanding officers were both stubborn and opinionated, he had typically found them to be rational as well. If there was some form of contention between the two, he expected them to reach a mutually agreeable solution without involving the rest of the crew. So there was no need for the guarded behavior of the Bridge officers that he could ascertain. However, he was unable to formulate a ploy that might put the others at ease, and past experiences had taught him that his best approach to such conduct was to ignore it. So he did.

But not without first noting the way Ensign Kim periodically looked around the Bridge, often catching the eyes of Tom Paris, who had only recently returned to his station. And B'Elanna Torres frequently sent furtive looks towards the captain's ready room and her crewmates in alternating patterns. When her eyes rested on him, he studiously bent his attention to the sensors. He heard Tom Paris sigh, and the sound reverberated around the room, raising the tension level by at least one more degree.

Tuvok was about to speak to the lieutenant about appropriate conduct for on duty Bridge personnel when the door to the ready room moved softly aside, arresting the attention of the Vulcan and everybody else in the room.

Captain Janeway slowly appeared, walking unsteadily and using the bulkhead for guidance and support. Her lips were drawn tight in the sharp concentration that Tuvok instinctively admired. Though her independence was unnecessary and probably detrimental to her condition, he had to admit that she possessed that quality the crew described as "pluck."

Commander Chakotay followed the captain closely, taking one step to every three of hers so that he could remain by her side. The complacent expression on his face had an immediate effect on the room. With an eerie unity, the Bridge personnel sighed as one being, and the tension dissipated instantly. From the reaction of his crewmates, Tuvok could comfortably surmise that the difficulty, whatever it had entailed, was passed.

The two officers paused just below the Tactical station to take a look around and, more probably, for the captain to catch her breath. Then together they crept up the three steps until they were level with Tuvok's station. There the captain paused again.

Janeway turned to the crew, and each person snapped to attention. It was as if they knew she was about to make an announcement. An amused smile briefly lightened her expression, but she sobered just as quickly. She licked her lips, swallowed, and with a last glance at the commander, lifted her head. "For obvious... health reasons, I have decided to turn control... of the ship over to Commander... Chakotay." Her voice was weak, her words halting, but a final decision to relinquish her duties and attend to her own recovery was like a gift to the crew. A second sigh echoed on the Bridge. At last they could stop worrying about her and get down to the business of helping her recuperate. Though if she put herself in the hands of certain of those crewmembers, Tuvok had grave misgivings about any eventual recovery at all.

Janeway went on, her voice gathering strength as she spoke. "I thank you for your efforts... in working towards a solution to whatever... happened. But I think it's time we moved on. I'm sorry, B'Elanna, your photon torpedo tests will have to be postponed. Lieutenant Paris, resume a course for home."

Paris turned in his chair to adjust the Conn. controls. "Aye, Captain," he calmly complied, but his grin revealed his delight at being once again on the move.

Chakotay instructed, "Warp six, Mr. Paris."

"Course two three five mark one seven nine, warp six."

"Mr. Tuvok, you have the Bridge," Chakotay said. As an afterthought, he sent one last glance at the captain.

With a brisk nod, Janeway started forward again, aiming for the turbolift. The captain felt every eye on the Bridge trained on her, and she redoubled her efforts to reach the lift unaided in spite of a constant ache that spread from her neck down to her knees and frequent spells of vertigo. If she fainted at this point, she didn't think she could consciously show her face on the Bridge again without suffering acute embarrassment. In jerky, deliberate steps, she and Chakotay attained the lift an agonizing moment later.

They entered. The door slid closed, shutting out the Bridge and all those probing stares just in time. Janeway's knees began to buckle. She tried to prop herself against the bulkhead, but she simply didn't have the strength to stand any longer.

Then, right on cue, Chakotay gently lifted her off the floor. "Deck five," he calmly ordered.

The pain was still considerable, but she found that she could bear it when she didn't have to support her own weight. She sucked in her breath at each jolt to her body until she was arranged comfortably in her first officer's arms.

"Better?" Chakotay inquired with a decidedly evil grin.

She chuckled even as she eyed him maliciously. He was simply enjoying her surrender and his victory far too much. But it was too painful to laugh long. "Oh, Chakotay, it hurts!" she complained in an undignified wail.

"Yes. The doctor will take care of it," he reassured simply.

Janeway steadily blinked back the threatening tears and shook her head. "Only if he manages to stop saying I told you so long enough to give me a sedative."

"I'd start practicing to receive another lecture if I were you," he joked in mock seriousness.

Kathryn took a deep breath, flinched, then let it out in a sigh. "It's nothing less than I deserve," she admitted. She paused for a moment, lost in thought. "You know, Chakotay, in retrospect I find it very interesting that by trying so hard to avoid the mistakes the other captain made, I was in truth making the same ones all over again." She leaned her head back a little so she could see his face. "Perhaps the universes aren't so different after all," she mused.

"Perhaps," Chakotay agreed reluctantly. "But I think the fact that you stopped yourself before it was too late shows definite progress in your favor."

Janeway smiled, purposely not thinking about how close she had really come to making those fatal decisions. "I hope so!" she said tiredly. "I hope so."

Chapter 3 || Contents || Chapter 5