Disclaimer: This would admittedly never happen, because Stargate (which I don't own, by the way) is made for the Hollywood TV show-making industry, and Hollywood as an industry is about making money, not playing that 'what if..?' scenario that all fans indulge in playing out in their minds from time to time. Answering that scenario is why fanfiction was invented.

A/N Part II in 'The Relationship Series.'

Phone Calls Late at Night Are Enough to Thrill Even Jack, the Most Jaded Person in the Universe

by Linda Bindner

Carter residence... Oh, damn!... Come Back here! No, don't shatter on the floor! Good... Hello?

Carter, what the hell was that?

'That' was me, answering my cell phone, which was in the pocket of my jacket, which is hanging in my front hall, which has a hardwood floor, and when I dropped the phone because of the butter on my fingers, the first thought that flew through my head was that my phone was finally going to bite the dust, and fly into a million pieces the minute it hit the floor, and I was going to be SOL, and without a cell phone to call you on... What?

How do you do that... say so much... and all in one breath, too? I did the same thing the other day with Daniel, but what I did is nothing like what you just did... I guess I need to take some lessons from you, or something.

Lessons with me won't come free, ya know.

Carter, will you stop that giggling?

I can't help it, Jack... What can I say? You make me giggle just by being your natural self.

I'll take that as a compliment...

Please do... It was meant to be one.

Then, I will.

Uh... Jack? As nice as this phone call is, was there something you need? You've never called me on my cell except for work things...

No, there's nothing going on at work that I know of... It's just that the air waves from cell phone towers are a lot harder to trace than a regular phone call, using a regular phone, and regular phone lines. So, I thought I'd call, and take a chance that you were still at home, since that's where I took you after the movie, and... That 'making out' thing was just as good in your front hall as it was in my truck, by the way. I just wanted to tell you that.

That's so sweet... And to be just as sweet, I would have to agree with you about the front hall thing... God, I wish you hadn't brought that up... Now I'm getting all mushy...

A mushy Sam Carter is something I would love to see.

You don't have to fish for an invitation from me to come over... I know that you already have a key to my house...

Like you already have a key to mine... Just in case you ever needed it... for work purposes...

This is a much better use, though. Anyway, you can come on over, and help me finish eating my popcorn before I jump you...

You're eating more popcorn? How can you possibly be hungry after all that junk we ate today?

I'm not hungry... Or, not very hungry, to be precise. But popcorn just sounded good tonight. And it is good... I'm sitting on the couch in the living room, reading and eating popcorn, and loving every minute of it almost as much as I love you... but not quite. Come on over, and make the evening even better.

Don't you go all seductive voice on me... You don't have to... You've already convinced me... I'll see you in about twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes?! Your house is only ten minutes from mine, and that's on a busy day. What are you doing to take so long?

I... um... I...

Jack, what's going on?

I just got outta the shower after thinking about our day...

Was today a date, do you think, by the way? Are we dating now?

Ohhhh, that was so a date, and if you're not dating me now after what happened this afternoon... twice... I'll assign so many extra duties to you that you'll meet yourself coming and going, you'll be so busy. Too busy to meet another guy, to say nothing of dating him... In the meantime, you'll have time to only see me... over and over again until you admit that I am a new fixture in your life.

Like a light fixture?

You could say that...

You could also say that you won't be needing to assign me any extra duties, or anything, in order to get me to stare at you and only you... But then, I might just stare at you for the fun of it whenever you come by, anyway...

No giggling.

I can't help it... I'm thinking about... It doesn't matter what I was thinking about just now... and you should know that was a smile of appreciation on my face, not just giggling.

Carter, you're going to kill me, ya know... Talk like that, and...

And what? Okay, fess up... What were you really doing just now?

Really? Thinking about you waaaay too much, and enjoying every second of it a bit too much, if you know what I mean.

I do know what you mean... Are you coming over, or what?

Let me put some clothes on first, then wild horses, or a herd of sheep blocking the street, couldn't keep me away.

I doubt you have to worry about a herd of sheep at 2030 at night.

Thank goodness.

Oh, and Jack?

Yeah?

Use the back door, so that we can be sure that nobody sees you...

When I'd rather shout about this over the mountain PA system... But, you have a good idea... There's no point in risking getting seen by someone from work the very first time I'm being invited to your house so that you can jump me...

Yeah, I've been thinking about you all afternoon, too.

Is that a smile? Is Samantha Carter actually smiling when she's considering sleeping with her CO?

No ranks, remember? And I've never done anything like this before... I've never wanted to...

Wicked, fun thought, isn't it?

In a way, it is a rather fun thought...

Almost as if we're finally giving in to the inevitable after fighting it for... four?... years.

Yeah, we should get medals or something for our self control.

By the way, you're speaking of medals... You said something about a medal going to the one of us who ate the most ice cream this afternoon... Which one of us is that?

Do you want the medal?

I think it should go to you... You're still eating junk, after all. How can you pack away so much junk food, and still be so thin?

I'll pay for it tomorrow in the gym, I swear, and I'll go for a five mile run every morning, even on missions when I can...

I'm not sure I like the thought of you running for five miles by yourself on missions...

Wanna come with me? Or are you not up to it?

Are you talking about my knees not being up to it?

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about?

Don't worry... You know that sarcophagus you put me into during that Hathor thing... Which we will never speak about again, on pain of death.

Hathor... God, I was so jealous until I figured out what was going on...

Jealous? You didn't look jealous.

Of course I didn't... I didn't want to piss you off, or anything...

Anyway, that sarcophagus... It fixed my knees as well as that Jaffa super 'X' thing on my stomach...

You mean that I inadvertently took care of the pain in your knees at the same time I just wanted to unmake that Jaffa mark thing?

How can you use 'inadvertently,' and 'thing' in the same sentence?

Jack..!

All right, all right!... Yeah, you fixed me up, good, or I would have had to retire about a year ago... My knees would never have held up so well if you hadn't put me into that sarcophagus.

Huh... Who'd a thought... It's all because of me that you're still me CO... That's irony for ya...

I thought we were leaving ranks out of this? How can I possibly say 'I'm Carter's CO,' at the same time I'm wondering what you look like without any clothes on?

You are?

The CO thing, or the other thing?

Other...

Ohhhhh, yeah!

Then get the hell on over here, use the back door, and park two blocks away so that nobody sees your truck, and I promise that you'll have to wonder no more...

'Sex' and 'Carter' are a lethal combination of words, too, ya know... See you in twenty minutes.

You have fifteen... Bye.

Bye.

Click.

Click.

Silence.

Sequel: Geez, Jack, I wasn't Born Yesterday, Ya Know


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