CHAPTER 18

How Different Was I? Really?

The second most often asked question, right after 'what did you do all day long?' had to be how was I different after the stroke. Was I the same, or was I changed forever? I never thought I would have a stroke, that's for sure! A heart attack, yes, but not a stroke. Cancer maybe, because every family seems to have someone with Cancer, and why not me? I'm not so conceited that I think I can escape that particular illness. One thing I do know for certain is that you don't ever want to have a stroke of your own. Retraining your brain to do everything is no picnic, that much I can tell you. Here lies a list of other things I can tell you:

• wear satin as often as you can, especially satin pajamas. Why? Satin slides on everything. But be careful, or you'll slide right off the bed
• you will always sneeze the minute you have food in your mouth, so you will be sure to spray your computer screen, your book, or whatever else is in front of you with dribbles and spots of whatever you're eating at the time
• most shirts have a side seam that can be a very handy guide when folding the laundry
• holding something that has liquid in it is suicide. It will definitely spill where you least want it to
• there is nothing more frustrating than having something to say, but not being able to communicate it. A little less frustrating is having something to say, being able to communicate it, but having few people understand what you said in the first place. For example, it's been over three years since the stroke, and I still don't talk on the phone. Talk about something that you've declared as a rule yourself, but is still very irritating!(pun intended)
• keep a stash of silverware in whatever drawer is beside the counter where you might need the silverware: the fridge, the sink, the coffee pot... wherever. (I even keep spoons in the potholder drawer.) It's just too far to walk all the way across our huge kitchen just for a spoon!
• walking the narrow end of your family's two-by-four fence is good for balance. It's not bad for therapy, either
• paper, like books, have a life and mind of their own. If they can, pages of paper will cling together. Every librarian in the country knows what I'm talking about
• Don't help! There's nothing more annoying than to go to all the trouble and work to do something, only to be 'rescued' at the last minute. Argh!
• coffee rules
• stroke patients make little noises all the time. They can't help it
• buy a refrigerator with a water dispenser in the door. It may be extravagant, but it's oh-so-convenient. Or better yet, buy a refrigerator with doors that are side by side. Stroke victims don't have very strong muscles, and opening a door to a regular fridge with the freezer on top or bottom makes for opening a pretty heavy refrigerator door. Besides, if you can't stand, and the freezer is at the top of the refridgerator, how does one get ice cream out of the freezer without help? The things that make you go 'hmmmm'
• walking is harder than it looks
• everything is harder than it looks
• I was happy to open my first jug of milk, to say nothing of lifting the gallon from the refrigerator (even if it's a side by side refrigerator). Now I'm a bit smarter and just buy half gallons of milk... they're lighter to lift
• drink lots of things that come in cans. Cans are much easier to get open than getting a glass, getting something that holds liquid out of the refrigerator, and pouring it. Always do things the easy way when you can. Or better yet, keep mugs or plastic glasses on a counter, so you can get a drink of water out of that oh-so-convenient water dispenser in your refrigerator door without having to lift a finger... well, not much of one
• I've always worn my thoughts on my face so anybody passing by can tell what I'm thinking. Now I wear my emotions right alongside them. If I'm happy, you know it. If I'm sad, you know it. If I'm playing on my computer... well, you get the picture
• I often can't say the letters 's' and 'x,' no matter how hard I try. 'Mexico' sounds like 'Meico.' On some days, an 's' or an 'x' is hopeless
• having a keyboard or piano lying around really does help you learn to speak
• there's only one thing to help increase the magic: practice, practice, PRACTICE! But if you do so, you risk burning out very quickly. I guess there is a risk no matter what you do
• you can pick up objects from the floor while using a walker
• canes are much better than a walker at going around packing boxes... or toys... or clothes... or just about anything
• I don't get headaches anymore. Well, not many, anyway
• splints are hot, and will always be hot. You don't want to wear them
• No matter how bad off you are, there is always someone worse off than you are. However, it doesn't do any good to hear this over and over and over again. You will still feel awful
• You can never reach any towel dispenser, ever, from a wheelchair, even if the place claims that it's 'Handicapped Accessible'
• Linoleum is easier than any kind of carpet to wheel on. It's also very inflexible, so try not to fall while you're on it
• The saying 'Sidewalk's are your friend,' is a lie! New, smooth, sidewalks might be your friend, but old sidewalks are just crooked slabs of cement
• PT will always wear you out, no matter what you're doing at any time in PT
• therapy really does work, even if the Insurance Company representative tells you that it doesn't
• if you need a little ankle support, buy high-topped tennis shoes before spending a lot of money on an ankle brace. It works... sometimes. Sometimes, it doesn't. I own both, for instance.
• coffee pods work really well in drip coffee maker, and are a lot easier and less messy to use than ground coffee. Use one pod for a four cup drip maker, and two for an eight cup drip coffee maker. (I'm always looking for ways to make coffee as easy as possible!)
• buy a Ford Focus. Not that I'm a walking advertisement for Ford, but the car's front seats are made to sit very high, and are really easy to get out of... relatively speaking. There's no point spending all your energy struggling to get out of a car with seats that are too low... such as in the other car I own, a Ford Mustang.
• and last but not least, food is the secret of the Universe

There, now you know. I'm just a normal Human who likes to eat a lot, drink coffee all the time, and read what she shouldn't want to read, but reads anyway. I haven't changed very much, though I'm more emotional, now, and less likely to put up with something that I deem is unreasonable. However, no matter how much a stroke may change or not change a particular personality, a person should always wear a helmet when riding a bike, as well as wear a seat-belt in a car. I've seen too many people who didn't, and the sight was not a pretty one.

Next: Personal Reflections, the Whole Darn Book